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the map college changes from now to 2020

the map college changes from now to 2020 peewL
The map illustrates the planning changes for the college between now and 2020. It is clearly seen that in 2020, more facility will be built. Therefore the footpath and the garden will be demolished. And, Car Park capacity will be expand. In addition, the classroom will increase from 3 rooms to 5 rooms. First of all, the garden and footpath will be removed. Therefore, it has more space to expand the car park and the building. In 2020, the car park has more 2 space than present. And, the Toilet has removed from the bottom to the opposite, which is next to the shop. Furthermore, the Library also relocated from right bottom corner into left bottom corner. In 2020, a new shop will be built, which will be located on the left top corner. Also, the reception has removed to the center of the building. However, the bus stop beside the road still remain unchanged. which besides the road.
The map illustrates the planning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
for the college between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and 2020.

It is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that in 2020, more facility will
be built
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the footpath and the garden will
be demolished
. And, Car Park capacity will be
Consider using the past participle "expanded"?
expand
.
In addition
, the classroom will increase from 3 rooms to 5 rooms.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the garden and footpath will
be removed
.
Therefore
, it has more space to expand the car park and the building. In 2020, the car park has more 2 space than present. And, the Toilet has removed from the bottom to the opposite, which is
next
to the shop.
Furthermore
, the Library
also
relocated from right bottom corner into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
bottom corner. In 2020, a new shop will
be built
, which will
be located
on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
top corner.
Also
, the reception has removed to the center of the building.
However
, the bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
beside the road
still
remain unchanged.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
besides
the road.
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IELTS academic the map college changes from now to 2020

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
159 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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