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the local government done on various sectors in the year 2010 and 2015.

the local government done on various sectors in the year 2010 and 2015. W5m0q
The pie chart compares the expenditure of the local government done on various sectors in the year 2010 and 2015. As per the notable figures, in the year 2010 most of the spending were done in the Education and healthcare sector, which was collectively of 45% of the total budget (24% on Education and 21% on healthcare). But the expenditure was reduced in both the sectors by 4 percent and 1 percent respectively in five years. Also, the defence sector was funded by 17 percent in 2010 which was reduced to 14 percent in 2015. The expenses on transport, cultures and others were also reduced by 1 percent. However, the expenses in welfare sectors and interests on borrowing was noticeably increase from last five years. The government spent twice as before on interest on burrowing and increased 5 percent funding in welfare sectors. Moreover, between these five years the pension sectors expenditure remained the same. It is overviewed that the government had to cut down on expenses in healthcare, education and others sectors to increase the funding in welfare and interest on borrowing sectors.
The pie chart compares the expenditure of the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
done on various
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sectors
in the
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year
2010 and 2015.

As per the notable figures, in the
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year
2010 most of the spending
were done
in the Education and healthcare
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sector
, which was
collectively
of 45% of the total budget (24% on Education and 21% on healthcare).
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the expenditure was
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reduced
in both the
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sectors
by 4
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percent
and 1
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percent
respectively
in five years.
Also
, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
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sector
was funded
by 17
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percent
in 2010 which was
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reduced
to 14
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percent
in 2015. The expenses on transport, cultures
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and others
were
also
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reduced
by 1 percent.

However
, the expenses in welfare
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sectors
and interests on borrowing was
noticeably
Consider using a past participle here: "increased".
increase
from last five years. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
spent twice as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
on interest on burrowing and increased 5
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percent
funding in welfare
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sectors
.
Moreover
, between these five years the pension
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
expenditure remained the same.

It
is overviewed
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down on expenses in healthcare, education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
to increase the funding in welfare and interest on borrowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
.
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IELTS academic the local government done on various sectors in the year 2010 and 2015.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
184 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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