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The bar chart results in France andd Finland

The bar chart results in France andd Finland 5AA3e
The bar chart illustrates the divorce results in two European countries from 2011 to 2015. Overall, Sweeden's rates decreased on the contrary Finland showed a rise during the period. Each of the countries' divorce percentages were similar trends. Despite Finland's lower rate initially, at the end of the period it exceeded Sweden. Sweden's divorce percentage was around 45% in 2011, it was higher than Finland's rate by 7%. After that the total rate of Finland nearly rose to 50% in the next year. However, the figure described a gradual decrease by around 3% and lasted to experience downward trend to the end of the period, reaching about 37% in 2015. Finland's divorce rates was less than 40% in 2011 and it continued with declining, that's why only about 33% of people got divorced as apposed to almost a half in Sweden in 2012. However from the bar chart a gradual growth was experienced during the next two years. It increased to 39%, following this again showed a rise by about 3% in 2014. Despite Finland's percentage remained steady for next year, it outweighed the rate of Sweeden
The bar chart illustrates the
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divorce
results in two European countries from 2011 to 2015.

Overall
,
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Sweeden
's
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rates
decreased
on the contrary
Finland
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a rise during the period. Each of the countries'
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divorce
percentages were similar trends. Despite Finland's lower
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rate
initially
, at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period it exceeded Sweden.

Sweden's
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divorce
percentage was around 45% in 2011, it was higher than Finland's
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rate
by 7%.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
that the total
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rate
of Finland
nearly
rose to 50% in the
next
year.
However
, the figure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
a gradual decrease by around 3% and lasted to experience downward trend to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period, reaching about 37% in 2015.

Finland's
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divorce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
was less than 40% in 2011 and it continued with declining, that's why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about 33% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
divorced as apposed to almost a half in Sweden in 2012.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
from the bar chart a gradual growth
was experienced
during the
next
two years. It increased to 39%, following this again
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a rise by about 3% in 2014. Despite Finland's percentage remained steady for
next
year, it outweighed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
Sweeden
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IELTS academic The bar chart results in France andd Finland

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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