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The line graphs shiw the number of workers and the demand of steel over the the period of one year.

The line graphs shiw the number of workers and the demand of steel over the the period of one year. o8plV
The ostensible line graphs detail the information about the entire number of jobholders who were employed in a steel company and the order for the production of flich in million of tonnes from January to until December. Having a clear glance, it can be seen that 4000 million tonnes amount of purloin was produced in initial month and that was uplifted by 1000 million tonnes between the February and March, however after once time increasing that was reached at its starting figure in April which was remained steady constent until July. That was fell again by nearly 3000 million tonnes in August, on the contrary making of flich was recovered by 5000 million tonnes after, this period but in the end of the year there was a great reduction experienced by company in this production by under 0 million tonnes. Whereas varied fluctuation pattern was followed by actual command process throughout the year between 3000 and 2000 tonnes. Turning to the remaining information, it can be observed that the total number of available staff memebers was 5000 in January and that was touched at almost 5700 in February but in March it was decreased drametically with 3000. Hence, from April to June that was unchanged. After this month merely in August updown trend was witnessed by a pilfer company in the number of workers with more than 3000 in comparison of other months. Looking from an overall perspective, it can be readily apparent that by the end of the year actual demand was surpassed than from amount produced also the total number of workplace memebers was just higher in initial month than from the rest of the periods.
The ostensible line graphs detail the information about the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of jobholders who
were employed
in a steel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and the order for the production of
Possible spelling mistake found.
flich
in
Use "a million" or use a number before 'million'.
million
of tonnes from January to until December.

Having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
glance, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that 4000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
tonnes amount of purloin
was produced
in initial month and that
was uplifted
by 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
tonnes between the February and March,
however
after once time increasing that
was reached
at its starting figure in April which
was remained
steady
Possible spelling mistake found.
constent
until July. That was fell again by
nearly
3000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
tonnes in August,
on the contrary
making of
Possible spelling mistake found.
flich
was recovered
by 5000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
tonnes after, this period
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year there was a great reduction experienced by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in this production by under 0
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
tonnes. Whereas varied fluctuation pattern
was followed
by actual command process throughout the year between 3000 and 2000 tonnes.

Turning to the remaining information, it can
be observed
that the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of available staff
Possible spelling mistake found.
memebers
was 5000 in January and that
was touched
at almost 5700 in February
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in March it
was decreased
Possible spelling mistake found.
drametically
with 3000.
Hence
, from April to June that
was unchanged
.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
this month
merely
in August
Possible spelling mistake found.
updown
trend
was witnessed
by
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'pilfer' is correct. If 'pilfer' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a pilfer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of workers with more than 3000
in comparison
of other months.

Looking from an
overall
perspective, it can be
readily
apparent that by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year actual demand
was surpassed
than from amount produced
also
the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of workplace
Possible spelling mistake found.
memebers
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
higher in initial month than from the rest of the periods.
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IELTS academic The line graphs shiw the number of workers and the demand of steel over the the period of one year.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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