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The line graphs below shows the growth of household with personal computer in the USA

The line graphs below shows the growth of household with personal computer in the USA LYVr
The line graph illustrates this is that the gradually increasing trend of households with personal computer in America from 1980 to 1988 It is clear that there was a steadily increasing tendency of personal computer in household in the US In 1980, only 2% families in every 100% families in the US possessed a personal computer. However, in 1981, there was 4% families in every 100 % families in the US which possessed a computer. The figure was two time of that in 1980. From then on, the line continued to go up until 1987 when 20% of families in every 100% families in the US had a personal computer, this was ten times of that in 1980. In 1988, the rate of family computer reached as high as 21% families in every 100% families
The line graph illustrates this is that the
gradually
increasing trend of households with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
computer in America from 1980 to 1988 It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there was a
steadily
increasing tendency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
computer in household in the US In 1980,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
in every 100%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
in the US possessed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
computer.
However
, in 1981, there was 4%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
in every 100 %
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
in the US which possessed a computer. The figure was two time of that in 1980. From then on, the line continued to go up until 1987 when 20% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
in every 100%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
in the US had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
computer, this was ten times of that in 1980. In 1988, the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
computer reached as high as 21%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
in every 100%
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
families
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IELTS academic The line graphs below shows the growth of household with personal computer in the USA

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
134 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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