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THE LINE GRAPH SHOWS THE RADIO AND TELEVISION AUDIENCES THROUGHOUT THE UK FROM OCTOBER TO DECEMBER 1992.

THE LINE GRAPH SHOWS THE RADIO AND TELEVISION AUDIENCES THROUGHOUT THE UK FROM OCTOBER TO DECEMBER 1992. r6gnL
THE LINE GRAPH ILLUSTRATES THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE LISTENING TO THE RADIO AND WATCHING TV WHO ARE OVER 4 YEARS OLD IN 24 HOUR PERIOD IN THE UNITED KINGDOM FROM OCTOBER TO DECEMBER 1992. OVERALL, BOTH THE PARAMETERS HAVE THEIR UPS AND DOWNS THROUGHOUT THE TIME. HOWEVER, ALMOST 3% OF INDIVIDUALS LISTENED TO THE RADIO AT NIGHT WHILE NUMEROUS PEOPLE WATCH TV AT NIGHT. AS FAR AS TV IS CONCERNED, ABOUT 45% OF THE POPULATION WHO ARE ABOVE 4 YEARS OLD TEND TO WATCH TV FOR A CERTAIN PERIOD. IN CONTRAST, LESS PERCENTAGE OF HUMANS LISTEN TO THE RADIO AT DUSK WHICH IS APPROXIMATELY 5%. FURTHERMORE, AFTER 9 PM THE PERCENTAGE OF PEOPLE WATCHING TV GRADUALLY DECREASES AND REACHES ALMOST 15% OF THE POPULATION. AT 11 AM, ONLY 3% OF PEOPLE WATCH TV AS MANY INDIVIDUALS LISTEN TO THE RADIO DURING THAT TIME. SIMILARLY, THE LISTENERS OF FM WERE LOW UNDER 5% FROM 1 AM TO 6 AM, YET THE PERCENTAGE INCREASES AND ACHIEVED ITS PEAK OF ABOUT 25% IN THE EARLY MORNING, AND EVENTUALLY, THE DECLINATION OF NUMBER HAS BEEN SEEN AS TIME PASSES.
THE LINE GRAPH ILLUSTRATES THE NUMBER OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
LISTENING TO THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
RADIO
AND WATCHING TV WHO ARE OVER 4 YEARS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
OLD
IN
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
24 HOUR
PERIOD IN THE
The proper noun "United KINGDOM" needs to be capitalized.
UNITED KINGDOM
FROM OCTOBER TO DECEMBER 1992.

OVERALL
, BOTH THE PARAMETERS HAVE THEIR UPS AND DOWNS THROUGHOUT THE TIME.
HOWEVER
, ALMOST 3% OF INDIVIDUALS LISTENED TO THE
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RADIO
AT NIGHT WHILE NUMEROUS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
WATCH
TV AT NIGHT.

AS FAR AS TV
IS CONCERNED
, ABOUT 45% OF THE POPULATION WHO ARE ABOVE 4 YEARS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
OLD
TEND TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
WATCH
TV FOR A CERTAIN PERIOD.
IN CONTRAST
, LESS PERCENTAGE OF HUMANS LISTEN TO THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
RADIO
AT DUSK WHICH IS APPROXIMATELY 5%.
FURTHERMORE
, AFTER 9 PM THE PERCENTAGE OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
WATCHING TV
GRADUALLY
DECREASES AND REACHES ALMOST 15% OF THE POPULATION. AT 11 AM,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
3% OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
WATCH
TV AS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
INDIVIDUALS LISTEN TO THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
RADIO
DURING THAT TIME.

SIMILARLY
, THE LISTENERS OF FM WERE LOW UNDER 5% FROM 1 AM TO 6 AM,
YET
THE PERCENTAGE INCREASES AND ACHIEVED ITS PEAK OF ABOUT 25% IN THE EARLY MORNING, AND
EVENTUALLY
, THE DECLINATION OF NUMBER HAS BEEN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SEEN
AS TIME PASSES.
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IELTS academic THE LINE GRAPH SHOWS THE RADIO AND TELEVISION AUDIENCES THROUGHOUT THE UK FROM OCTOBER TO DECEMBER 1992.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
185 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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