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Describe changes between two diagrams

Describe changes between two diagrams Myk2e
Acording to two maps, there were striking changes over the period of 9 years in Landside. The sections which remained unchanged were the Residential area on the top left and the school at the center. However, the Derelic warehouse on the Northside, the Art center on the Westside and the Residential area was in close proximity to the south of the school were removed in favor of the Car park, the Cinema and the Shopping Center respectively. Moreover, the emergence of the Offices and the University made the Old Town disappear in 2009. The year 2000 witnessed a diminution of the lake in the source of the river to a pond for some reasons. An additional changes on the right-hand corner of the lakeside was. The extension of the Industrial complex to the southeast, also occupying the Residential area which used to be situated.
Acording
to two maps, there were striking
changes
over the period of 9 years in
Landside
.

The sections which remained unchanged were the Residential area on the top
left
and the school at the center.
However
, the
Derelic
warehouse on the Northside, the Art center on the Westside and the Residential area was in
close proximity
to the south of the school
were removed
in favor of the Car park, the Cinema and the Shopping Center
respectively
.
Moreover
, the emergence of the Offices and the University made the
Old
Town disappear in 2009.

The year 2000 witnessed a diminution of the lake in the source of the river to a pond for
some
reasons. An additional
changes
on the right-hand corner of the lakeside was. The extension of the Industrial complex to the southeast,
also
occupying the Residential area which
used
to
be situated
.
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IELTS academic Describe changes between two diagrams

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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