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The line graph shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.

The line graph shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. J9pB
The line graph represents the percentage of tourists, who visited four types of attractions such as art gallery, pavilion, pier and festival in Brighton in the capital of UK. Overall, the changing patterns of visited tourist’s attractions increased and decreased over the period. Two types of attractions – pavilion and festival were more popular between tourists than art gallery and pier from 1980 to 1985. During the 1980s and 1985s there were a sharp increase in visitors to the art gallery from 20 % to 40%, then the percentage gradually were down to 8% in 2010. The trend for the pavilion was similar to the art gallery. Visitor increased suddenly from 22% to 48% from 1980 to 1995, then gradually decreased to less than 12% over the next fifteen years. The number of tourists who visited festival and pier fluctuated slightly but in general remained steady at about 25%.
The line graph represents the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
, who visited four types of attractions such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gallery
, pavilion, pier and festival in Brighton in the capital of UK.

Overall
, the changing patterns of visited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist’s
attractions increased and decreased over the period. Two types of attractions
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
pavilion and festival were more popular between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gallery
and pier from 1980 to 1985.

During the 1980s and 1985s there were a sharp increase in visitors to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gallery
from 20 % to 40%, then the percentage
gradually
were down to 8% in 2010. The trend for the pavilion was similar to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gallery
. Visitor increased
suddenly
from 22% to 48% from 1980 to 1995, then
gradually
decreased to less than 12% over the
next
fifteen years. The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
who visited festival and pier fluctuated
slightly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in general
remained steady at about 25%.
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IELTS academic The line graph shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
149 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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