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the given map show the differences in a industrial village

the given map show the differences in a industrial village dBa7
The given two maps illustrate the development in a local industrial village called stamdorf in uk from 1985 to 2015. Overall it can be seen that at the beginning of the period the village was less industrial and less residential. however after 30 years of period stamdorf became more industrial and residential. it is apparent from the first map there was only one factory was situated in east side of the bridge. bridge had been made by wooden. the thames river went accros the village and arlington road has gone south east side to north west side acrossing the river. Small roadinns were located in opposite side of the field. by 2015 stamdorf has developed compare with 1985. The factory became industrial zone to the north. Industrial staff quater was added near the zone. Two new housing estate have been constructed. Wooden bridge has been become steel bridge. Small roadside inns have been brought to the east side of the bridge.
The
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given
two maps illustrate the development in a local
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industrial
village called
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stamdorf
in
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uk
from 1985 to 2015.

Overall
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that at the beginning of the period the village was less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
and less residential.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
however
after 30 years of period
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stamdorf
became more
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industrial
and residential.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is apparent from the
first
map there was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one factory
was situated
in east side of the
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bridge
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
bridge
had
been made
by wooden.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
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thames
river went
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accros
the village and
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arlington
road has gone
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
south east
side to
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
north west
side
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acrossing
the river.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Small
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roadinns
were located
in opposite side of the field.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
by
2015
Possible spelling mistake found.
stamdorf
has developed compare with 1985. The factory became
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
zone to the north.
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Industrial
staff
Possible spelling mistake found.
quater
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
near the zone. Two new housing estate have
been constructed
. Wooden
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bridge
has
been become
steel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bridge
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Small
roadside inns have
been brought
to the east side of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bridge
.
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IELTS academic the given map show the differences in a industrial village

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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