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salmon's growth process through life

salmon's growth process through life GeQm
The diagram describes the growth process of salmon, a kind of big fishes that live in 2 different water bodies throughout its life. Overall, they are 3 process that they are going through, started with egg and ended up with adult salmon. Salmon’s life are started in upper river while they are actually eggs. The eggs are located among the small stones and protected by reeds. These eggs need 5-6 months before they hatch. The hatched salmon that sized 3-8 cm are called fries. The fries are then move from the upper river to the lower river. In the lower river where the stream flows faster than the upper river, the fries live their life for approximately 4 years until they reach the size of 12-15 cm. Once they come to this size, they are called smolts. The smolts subsequently migrate to the open sea. For about 5 years they live here until they gain maturity. The mature salmon are called adult salmon that sized 70-76 cm. Finally, the adult salmon migrate once again to the upper river where they start the processes all over again.
The diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the growth process of salmon, a kind of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
fishes that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in 2
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
water bodies throughout its life.

Overall
, they are 3 process that they are going through,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
with egg and ended up with adult salmon.

Salmon’s life are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
upper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
while they are actually eggs. The eggs
are located
among the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
stones and protected by reeds. These eggs need 5-6 months
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they hatch. The hatched salmon that sized 3-8 cm
are called
fries. The fries are then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
upper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
to the lower river.

In the lower
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river
where the stream flows faster than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
upper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
, the fries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their life for approximately 4 years until they reach the size of 12-15 cm. Once they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to this size, they
are called
Possible spelling mistake found.
smolts
.

The
Possible spelling mistake found.
smolts
subsequently
migrate to the open sea. For about 5 years they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
here until they gain maturity. The mature salmon
are called
adult salmon that sized 70-76 cm.
Finally
, the adult salmon migrate once again to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
upper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
river
where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the processes all over again.
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IELTS academic salmon's growth process through life

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
186 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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