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The line graph shows the number of cell phones subscribers in a particular city by gender.

The given graph describes how many men and women in Marysville paid for cell phone service from 1995 to 2015. Overall, while the numbers of both male and female subscribers rose significantly, they increase more for men. The number of male cell phone subscribers climb considerably between 1995 and 2015. In 1995, they started from 500 to subscribe the cell phone service. The number increased remarkably over the next few years until it reached 2500 in the year 2005. There was no change in the number rose slightly between 2010 and 2015. Then, the number went up minimally between 2010 and 2015, when there were about 2750 male subscribers. Similarly, the number of women subscribing to cell phone service rose in most years between 1995 and 2015. In 1995, 500 women were subscribe to cell phone service. By 2005, the number of female subscribers had increased to 2500. There was a slight drop to about 2250 subscribers between 2005 and 2010, and it stayed steady between 2010 and 2015.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women in Marysville paid for
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cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
from 1995 to 2015.

Overall
, while the
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numbers
of both male and female
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subscribers
rose
significantly
, they increase more for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

The
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number
of male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subscribers
climb
considerably
between 1995 and 2015. In 1995, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from 500 to subscribe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
increased
remarkably
over the
next
few years until it reached 2500 in the year 2005. There was no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the
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number
rose
slightly
between 2010 and 2015. Then, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
went up
minimally
between 2010 and 2015, when there were about 2750 male subscribers.

Similarly
, the
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number
of women subscribing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
rose in most years between 1995 and 2015. In 1995, 500 women were
Consider using either the past participle “subscribed” or the present participle “subscribing” here.
subscribe
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
. By 2005, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subscribers
had increased to 2500. There was a slight drop to about 2250
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subscribers
between 2005 and 2010, and it stayed steady between 2010 and 2015.

IELTS academic The line graph shows the number of cell phones subscribers in a particular city by gender.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
169 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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