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The line graph shows the average monthly temperature of Canada, japan, and USA.

The line graph shows the average monthly temperature of Canada, japan, and USA. 2Rl0b
The line graph depicts the information about the average monthly temperature of Japan, Canada and USA. It can be vividly seen from the line graph that, in the starting of the year average and least temperature of Canada was 5 degree Celsius which was 15 C less the japan. While Highest temperature showed in USA about 2t degree Celsius. Then temperature of Canada and Japan rose and reached on 20 and 25 degree Celsius respectively. Whereas, temperature of USA dropped by nearly 12 degree Celsius in august. The graph further reveals that, in the end of the year temperature of USA increased and raised on 23 degree Celsius and temperature of Japan gradually decreased and become same as USA. Lastly, temperature of Canada dropped and reached on their starting point. Overall, it is clear that in the end of the picture of all the given a nation become same on as starting month.
The line graph depicts the information about the average monthly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, Canada and USA.

It can be
vividly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the line graph that, in the starting of the year average and least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
of Canada was 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
Celsius which was 15 C less the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
japan
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
Highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
about 2t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
Celsius. Then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
of Canada and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
rose and reached on 20 and 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
Celsius
respectively
.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of USA
dropped by
nearly
12
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
Celsius in
The month "August" needs to be capitalized.
august
.

The graph
further
reveals that, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of USA
increased and raised on 23
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
Celsius and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
gradually
decreased and become same as USA.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
temperature
of Canada dropped and reached on their starting point.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the picture of all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a nation become same on as starting month.
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IELTS academic The line graph shows the average monthly temperature of Canada, japan, and USA.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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