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Teachers' education time in the USA

Teachers' education time in the USA dlkYp
The bar chart gives information about the amount of time spent by a teacher in different education levels in four countries in the year 2001. Overall, it can be seen from the chart that upper secondary made up the majority (most) of teaching time in all of the countries given the graph. To commence with, the number of hours spent on primary education and lower secondary education by a teacher in Japanese schools were similar to those of Iceland, at 600 hours and around 650 hours respectively. However, regarding upper secondary education, Iceland’s figures were far higher than Japan, exceeding Japan by just over 200 hours. Continuing with the upper secondary education level teaching, Spain and Iceland’s levels were quite close while Spain beat Iceland in the other two categories. As for the USA, the country surpassed the other three in all education level teaching hours. An average teacher in USA spent approximately 750, 1000 and 1200 hours on teaching primary, lower secondary, upper secondary schools respectively.
The bar chart gives information about the amount of time spent by a teacher in
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different
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education
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levels
in four countries in the year 2001.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the chart that
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upper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
made up the majority (most) of
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teaching
time in
Consider using "all the".
all of the
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the graph.

To commence with, the number of
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hours
spent on primary
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education
and lower
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secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
by a teacher in Japanese schools were similar to those of Iceland, at 600
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hours
and around 650
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hours
respectively
.
However
, regarding
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upper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, Iceland’s figures were far higher than Japan, exceeding Japan by
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just
over 200
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hours
. Continuing with the
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upper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
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level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
, Spain and Iceland’s
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levels
were quite close while Spain beat Iceland in the other two categories.

As for the USA, the country surpassed the other three in all
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education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. An average teacher
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the USA".
in USA
spent approximately 750, 1000 and 1200
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hours
on
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teaching
primary, lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
,
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upper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
schools
respectively
.
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IELTS academic Teachers' education time in the USA

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
167 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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