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amount of co2 emitted in 1967 and 2007

amount of co2 emitted in 1967 and 2007 alAN7
The graph shows the amount of carbon dioxide emitted per person in United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy, and Portugal during 1967, and 2007. The graph illustrates that the ratio of carbon dioxide in Italy, and Portugal increased in 1967 from 4. 2, and 1. 7 respectively to approximately double the amount in Italy till it reaches 7. 8, and approximately triple that in Portugal and reaches 5. 8 in 2007. In italy there was a sharp increase between 1967, and 1977, then it slowed down till 1997, where a the amount of co2 emitted took a constant path at 7. 8. However, in Portugal there was a sharp increase in this ratio from 1967 to 1997, and after that, the graph shows a slow marginal increase until 2007. On the other hand, the graph reveals that the proportion of co2 emitted in the United Kingdom is constant at 12 tones between years 1967, and 1977, then a slight drop was seen till it reach 9 tones in 2007. Finally, in Sweden there was a sharp increase from 8. 8 in 1967 till it reach 10. 2 in 1977, then followed by a sharp decrease till it reach 7 in 1987, and followed by a slower decrease till it reach 5. 8 in 2007.
The
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graph
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shows
the amount of carbon dioxide emitted per person
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the United Kingdom".
in United Kingdom
, Sweden, Italy, and Portugal during 1967, and 2007. The
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graph
illustrates that the ratio of carbon dioxide in Italy, and Portugal increased in 1967 from 4. 2, and 1. 7
respectively
to approximately double the amount in Italy till it
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reaches
7. 8, and approximately triple that in Portugal and
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reaches
5. 8 in 2007. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
italy
there was a
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sharp
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increase
between 1967, and 1977, then it slowed down till 1997, where
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "a" or "the" is left.
a the
amount of co2 emitted took a constant path at 7. 8.
However
, in Portugal there was a
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sharp
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increase
in this ratio from 1967 to 1997, and after that, the
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graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a slow marginal
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increase
until 2007.
On the other hand
, the
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graph
reveals that the proportion of co2 emitted in the United Kingdom is constant at 12 tones between years 1967, and 1977, then a slight drop was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
till it
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reach
9 tones in 2007.
Finally
, in Sweden there was a
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sharp
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increase
from 8. 8 in 1967 till it
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reach
10. 2 in 1977, then followed by a
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sharp
decrease till it
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reach
7 in 1987, and followed by a slower decrease till it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reach
5. 8 in 2007.
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IELTS academic amount of co2 emitted in 1967 and 2007

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
212 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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