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the line graph shows about the visitors who travels from USA and others who like to visit in united kingdom from 1979 to 1999.

the line graph shows about the visitors who travels from USA and others who like to visit in united kingdom from 1979 to 1999. wByGr
This diagram enumerates about Britain's people who travelled abroad and the foreigners those came to UK between 1979 and 1999. In 1979, the line graph indicates, the quantity between UK foreigners and those individuals who loved to travel from united kingdom were similar that was 10 millions. But in 1984, the population of UK residents those went to others famous countries slightly rose that was 20 millions. In 1999, the final result of the line chart depicts that the number of UK people who visited to abroad was huge as compare to who came to UK. On the other hand, the second bar illustrates the names of countries in which UK people mostly like to visit. There was minimal difference between France and Spain that were 12 millions and 8 millions respectively. While, Turkey is one of the country that English people did not like to visit too much. Overall, UK community who liked to visited others states was more as compare to UK foreigners and France was the most famous place visited by UK society in 1999.
This diagram enumerates about Britain's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
travelled abroad and the foreigners those came to UK between 1979 and 1999. In 1979, the line graph indicates, the quantity between UK foreigners and those individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
to travel from
The proper noun "United Kingdom" needs to be capitalized.
united kingdom
were similar that was 10
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millions
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in 1984, the population of UK residents those went to others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
countries
slightly
rose that was 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
. In 1999, the final result of the line chart depicts that the number of UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
visited to abroad was huge as compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
came to UK.
On the other hand
, the second bar illustrates the names of countries in which UK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mostly
like to visit. There was minimal difference between France and Spain that were 12
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millions
and 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
respectively
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, Turkey is one of the country that English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not like to visit too much.
Overall
, UK community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
liked to visited others states was more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compare to UK foreigners and France was the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
place visited by UK society in 1999.
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IELTS academic the line graph shows about the visitors who travels from USA and others who like to visit in united kingdom from 1979 to 1999.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
178 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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