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The line graph schematically illustrates seven years of how many people visited The Caribbean island in a unit of millions, during the period between 2010 and 2017

The line graph schematically illustrates seven years of how many people visited The Caribbean island in a unit of millions, during the period between 2010 and 2017 VQBWK
The line graph schematically illustrates seven years of how many people visited The Caribbean island in a unit of millions, during the period between 2010 and 2017. Overall, there were two groups of people, distinguished according to whether they decided to stay on the cruise ships or to stay on the island. The overall trend of tourism was on the increase over this period to 3. 5 million people at the end of 2017. In 2010, it is immediately apparent that the total number of visitors was dominated by the visitors choosing to stay on the island as it outnumbered the other one. It started from approximately 0. 75 million people and gently rose to the highest point at 1. 5 million people in 2013. The trajectory then altered, followed by a brief slump in 2016 to roughly 1. 25 million people, before rebounding at the end of 2017. Regarding the number of tourists staying on the ships, it began with a marginal value and had oscillated between around 0. 25 and 0. 5 million people until 2012. Thereafter in 2013, the figure skyrocketed and continued to increase through the remaining period.
The line graph
schematically
illustrates seven years of how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visited The Caribbean island in a unit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
, during the period between 2010 and 2017.
Overall
, there were two groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, distinguished according to whether they decided to stay on the cruise ships or to stay on the island. The
overall
trend of tourism was on the increase over this period to 3. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2017.

In 2010, it is immediately apparent that the total number of visitors
was dominated
by the visitors choosing to stay on the island as it outnumbered the other one. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from approximately 0. 75
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
gently
rose to the highest point at 1. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in 2013. The trajectory then altered, followed by a brief slump in 2016 to roughly 1. 25
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
rebounding at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2017.

Regarding the number of tourists staying on the ships, it began with a marginal value and had oscillated between around 0. 25 and 0. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
until 2012.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thereafter
in 2013, the figure skyrocketed and continued to increase through the remaining period.

IELTS academic The line graph schematically illustrates seven years of how many people visited The Caribbean island in a unit of millions, during the period between 2010 and 2017

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
192 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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