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the proportions of Italian and Yemeni citizens in three age groups in 2000 and projections for 2050

the proportions of Italian and Yemeni citizens in three age groups in 2000 and projections for 2050 dk5Vp
The pie charts compare the proportions of Italian and Yemeni citizens in three age groups in 2000 and projections for 2050. It is clear that Yemen had the younger population in the year 2000, and the same is predicted for the year 2050. The populations of both countries are predicted to get older over the 50 year period. In 2000 just over half the Yemeni population were under 14, compared to just over 14% of Italians in the same age group. Only a very small percentage of people in Yemen were over 60 at 3. 6%, in contrast to nearly a quarter of the Italian population. The largest group for Italy was the 15-59-year-olds with just over 60% while Yemen had 46. 3% of its population in this category. Yemen’s average age is set to increase with the proportion of over 60s increasing by just over 2% and the middle group rising by 11%, leaving the youngest group with a decrease of nearly 13%. It is envisaged that by 2050 the number of people in Italy over 60 will jump to 42. 3%, the percentage of those in the youngest bracket will drop to 11. 5% and the share in the middle category will decrease to 46. 2%.
The pie charts compare the proportions of Italian and Yemeni citizens in three age
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groups
in 2000 and projections for 2050.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that Yemen had the younger
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population
in the year 2000, and the same
is predicted
for the year 2050. The
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populations
of both countries
are predicted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older
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over
the
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "50-year"
50 year
period.

In 2000
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just
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over
half the Yemeni
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population
were under 14, compared to
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just
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over
14% of Italians in the same age
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group
.
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Only
a
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very
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small
percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Yemen were
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over
60 at 3. 6%,
in contrast
to
nearly
a quarter of the Italian
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population
. The largest
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group
for Italy was the 15-59-year-olds with
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just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
60% while Yemen had 46. 3% of its
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population
in this category.

Yemen’s average age
is set
to increase with the proportion of
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over
60s increasing by
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just
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over
2% and the middle
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group
rising by 11%, leaving the youngest
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group
with a decrease of
nearly
13%. It
is envisaged
that by 2050 the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in Italy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
60 will jump to 42. 3%, the percentage of those in the youngest bracket will drop to 11. 5% and the share in the middle category will decrease to 46. 2%.
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IELTS academic the proportions of Italian and Yemeni citizens in three age groups in 2000 and projections for 2050

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
208 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
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