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The line graph provides information about percentage of total music sales by different ways such as streams, downloads and CDs purchased between 2011 and 2018.

The line graph provides information about percentage of total music sales by different ways such as streams, downloads and CDs purchased between 2011 and 2018. gx8o3
The line graph provides information about percentage of total music sales by different ways such as streams, downloads and CDs purchased between 2011 and 2018. Overall, streams experienced an upward trend during the period of time from 2011 to 2018, whilst CDs purchased shows steady decrease in sales. Although firstly downloads method increased sharply, it turned out to a significant downward trend. By the year 2011 streams was the lowest point with approximately 5% of total sales, however within the next few years it reveals an gradual increase. Therefore it exceeding purchases of CD at the end of 2016 and then do that with downloads method in 2017. Eventually, streams hit the highest point of slightly above 40% becoming the leader. In contrast, CDs purchased way was the leader of the list accounted for nearly 55% at the same year, but falling slowly to just above 40% where it came across with downloads line. Then it continued to decrease slightly and reached the lowest point of about 25 per cent by the end of 2018. People who download music estimated at approximately 35% in 2011, then their number rose sharply to slightly above 40%. Next it experienced a noticeable downward trend to 30% of total purchases in the year 2018.
The line graph provides information about percentage of total music sales by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streams
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downloads
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
between 2011 and 2018.

Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streams
experienced an upward trend during the period of time from 2011 to 2018, whilst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
steady decrease in sales.

Although
firstly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downloads
method increased
sharply
, it turned out to a significant downward trend.

By the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2011
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streams
was the lowest point with approximately 5% of total sales,
however
within the
next
few years it reveals
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
gradual increase.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
Did you mean "it's exceeding", "it is exceeding", or "it was exceeding"?
it exceeding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
of CD at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2016 and then do that with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downloads
method in 2017.
Eventually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streams
hit the highest point of
slightly
above 40% becoming the leader.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
CDs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
way was the leader of the list accounted for
nearly
55% at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
falling
slowly
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
above 40% where it came across with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
downloads
line. Then it continued to decrease
slightly
and reached the lowest point of about 25 per cent by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2018.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
download
music estimated at approximately 35% in 2011, then their number rose
sharply
to
slightly
above 40%.
Next
it experienced a noticeable downward trend to 30% of total
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2018.
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IELTS academic The line graph provides information about percentage of total music sales by different ways such as streams, downloads and CDs purchased between 2011 and 2018.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
210 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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