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how does the village park's map change throughout 10 years

how does the village park's map change throughout 10 years wBMyY
The diagrams illustrates how a village park has changed in 10 years. We can see that ten year ago, there was a few places and the empty area was so much but 10 years later, it was used more efficiently. Around the park, they have built a cycle path, inside many thing has changed. the first thing is the car park, the ammount of car has been increased so that 50 cars can park here comparing to 10 years ago just about 20 cars and the area was small. Tennis court is now bigger, with doubled area so there are 4 courts to play. In contrast, football pitch is smaller than before but it’s still bif. Children play area have been widen and divided in 2 parts, the place is for children play and another play is for children soft play. the convenient change is the toilet, 10 years ago it so sad that ther was no toilet around but now it has been built so there is no need to worry about. Village park now also had a picnic area, it’s as big as the teniis court, the woods is replaced by a café and the pond is now boating lake
The diagrams
You should probably use "illustrate".
illustrates
how a village
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in 10 years. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that ten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
ago, there was a few places and the empty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
10 years later, it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
more
efficiently
. Around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
, they have built a cycle path, inside
Possible agreement error. The noun thing seems to be countable; consider using: "many things".
many thing
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
first
thing is the
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car
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park
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
ammount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
has
been increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that 50
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
here comparing to 10 years ago
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about 20
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cars
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
. Tennis court is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
bigger, with doubled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there are 4 courts to
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play
.
In contrast
, football pitch is smaller than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it’s
still
Possible spelling mistake found.
bif
. Children
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play
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area
have been
Consider using a past participle here: "widened".
widen
and divided in 2 parts, the place is for children
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play
and another
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play
is for children soft
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play
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
convenient
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is the toilet, 10 years ago it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
sad that
Possible spelling mistake found.
ther
was no toilet around
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
it has
been built
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is no need to worry about. Village
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park
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
also
had a picnic
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area
, it’s as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
as the
Possible spelling mistake found.
teniis
court, the woods
is replaced
by a café and the pond is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
boating
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
lake
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IELTS academic how does the village park's map change throughout 10 years

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
201 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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