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The line graph illustrates the number of international people coming to Great Britain

The line graph illustrates the number of international people coming to Great Britain N8BXj
The line graph illustrates the number of international people coming to Great Britain for various purposes over a period of 20 years from 1989 to 2009. The units have been measured in millions. Overall, it is apparent from the graph that the visitors travelling for holidays were the highest over the given period of time, while for business travelers and the people visiting to meet their family and friends showed a gradual rise for a good amount of time, but finally fell towards the end of the period. With regards to the people coming for holidays, it began at around 6. 5 million in the year 1989, being static for few years, after which it rose dramatically and peaked at 9 million before falling drastically to about 6. 4 million in the year 2004. From 2004 to 2009, there was a rapid surge and by the end of the period, it again peaked at about 9 million. On the other hand, business travelers at the beginning of the period showed a decline from 5 to 4 million, after which they started to increase gradually till 1994, became stable for next some years, and then took a sharp rise reaching at around 8 million before dropping to 7 million by the end of the period. In the case of people travelling to meet their friends and family, there was an increasing trend for a considerable amount of time, and it started at around 3. 5 million and increased till 2009 before falling just over 6 million in the end.
The line graph illustrates the number of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
coming to Great Britain for various purposes over a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
of 20 years from 1989 to 2009. The units have
been measured
in millions.

Overall
, it is apparent from the graph that the visitors travelling for holidays were the highest over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
of time, while for business travelers and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their family and friends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a gradual rise for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
finally
fell towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
of the period.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
coming for holidays, it began at around 6. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1989, being static for few years, after which it rose
dramatically
and peaked at 9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
falling
drastically
to about 6. 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2004. From 2004 to 2009, there was a rapid surge and by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
, it again peaked at about 9 million.

On the other hand
, business travelers at the beginning of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a decline from 5 to 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
, after which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to increase
gradually
till 1994, became stable for
next
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
years, and then took a sharp rise reaching at around 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
dropping to 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
. In the case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travelling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their friends and family, there was an increasing trend for a considerable amount of time, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at around 3. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
and increased till 2009
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
falling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
end
.
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IELTS academic The line graph illustrates the number of international people coming to Great Britain

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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