Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The pie charts show the proportion of American online music service users in each age group in 2013, 2015, and 2017.

The pie charts show the proportion of American online music service users in each age group in 2013, 2015, and 2017. 26n2x
The pie charts show the proportion of American online music service users in each age group in 2013, 2015, and 2017. Overall, it is clear that the each chart changed considerably over the five years. The40-49 year olds showed the largest percent in 2013. However, it was replaced by the 30-39 year olds in 2015, and the 20-29 year olds had the largest portion in 2017. Looking at the pie chart more closely, one can see that the percentage of users aged 40 to 49 was the largest in 2013 and had declined to 14 % at the end of the period. Then, the users who are 30 to 39 years old had around 31 % in 2013 and increased by 2 % in 2015, before falling to 24 % in 2017. The portion of users aged 20 to 29 rose gradually from about 18 % in 2013 to about 34 % in 2017. Other age group’s rates remained stable 2013, 2015 respectively, but rate of users who are from 10 to 19 had went up to 24 % by 2017.
The pie charts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the proportion of American online music service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
in each age group in 2013, 2015, and 2017.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "each" is left.
the each
chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
considerably
over the five years. The40-49
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
olds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the largest percent in 2013.
However
, it
was replaced
by the 30-39
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
olds in 2015, and the 20-29
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
olds had the largest portion in 2017.

Looking at the pie chart more
closely
, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
aged 40 to 49 was the largest in 2013 and had declined to 14 % at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period. Then, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
who are 30 to 39 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
had around 31 % in 2013 and increased by 2 % in 2015,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
falling to 24 % in 2017. The portion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
aged 20 to 29 rose
gradually
from about 18 % in 2013 to about 34 % in 2017. Other age group’s rates remained stable 2013, 2015
respectively
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
who are from 10 to 19 had
Use past participle here: "gone".
went
up to 24 % by 2017.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The pie charts show the proportion of American online music service users in each age group in 2013, 2015, and 2017.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    Section 1: time spend on smartphones, by category
    The charts show the category about the time people spend on smartphones The largest percentage, 35 percent, use smartphones for games. Twenty nine percent spend their time on social networking and twenty percent for utilities when they use their smartphones. Just eight percent for music and videos, ...
  • 6band
    The table illustrates the all-time top Olympics medals in several sports, and the line graph depicts the amount of medals earned by five different countries over all Olympics.
    The table illustrates the all-time top Olympics medals in several sports, and the line graph depicts the amount of medals earned by five different countries over all Olympics. Overall, the American athlete won the most medals in Swimming while the sportsmen from Norway and the USSR gained the least...
  • 6band
    maps show colwick arts centre
    This report will refer to two maps that depict the development of Colwick Arts Center between 2005 and today. The wilderness area has been converted into an open-air exihibition and performance section. In addition, the musicale and the movies has been replaced by the zone of the center presentatio...
  • 6.5band
    maps of colwick arts center
    This report will refer to two maps that depict the development of Colwick Arts Center between 2005 and today. The wilderness area has been converted into an open-air exhibition and performance section. In addition, the musicale and the movies has been replaced by the zone of the center presentation...
  • 7band
    THE PROCESS OF MAKING CHERRY JAM
    The illustrations demonstrate various stages involved in the fabrication of making cherry jam. As is shown by the diagrams, it is apparent that there are nine main steps in the process of making cherry jam, which commences with the cherries are obtained by shaking the trees and terminates with labe...
  • 6.5band
    pie chart of different nutrient intake
    The three pie charts depict the percentage of sodium, saturated fat and added sugar consumed by Americans in their daily diet. These nutrients, if taken in excess, can result in health problems like heart attack and obesity. The pie chart provides data on the intake of nutrients at breakfast, lunch,...