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The line graph illustrates the number of Apple services sold over the world during the 11-year period time starting from 2002.

The line graph illustrates the number of Apple services sold over the world during the 11-year period time starting from 2002. paL6L
The line graph illustrates the number of Apple services sold over the world during the 11-year period time starting from 2002. Overall, it is clear that there was a significant increase in iPhone sales and this period witnessed a soar in iPod figure. The number of Macs was not sold well in the time from 2002 to 2004 but this figure experienced a modest jump to 20 million in 2012 and ending at the lowest figure in 2013. Similarly, the number of Mac sales was as equal as iPod figure but this figure remarkably went up in 2004 and read a plateau at well under 60 million in 2008. The year between 2008 and 2013 saw a fall in iPod consumption, which stood at the second rank among the three. In contrast, there was an appearance of the iPhone in 2007. This Apple service soared from 0 to 20 million in only 3 years. This figure continuously experienced a rocket of 130 million, which outstripped iPod sales and represented the first rank over the rest of the period.
The line graph illustrates the number of Apple services sold over the world during the 11-year period time starting from 2002.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there was a significant increase in iPhone sales and this period witnessed a soar in iPod figure.

The number of Macs was not sold well in the time from 2002 to 2004
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
experienced a modest jump to 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 2012 and ending at the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
in 2013.
Similarly
, the number of Mac sales was as equal as iPod
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
remarkably
went up in 2004 and read a plateau at well under 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in 2008.

The year between 2008 and 2013
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a fall in iPod consumption, which stood at the second rank among the three.
In contrast
, there was an appearance of the iPhone in 2007. This Apple service soared from 0 to 20
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3 years. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
continuously
experienced a rocket of 130
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
, which outstripped iPod sales and represented the
first
rank over the rest of the period.
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IELTS academic The line graph illustrates the number of Apple services sold over the world during the 11-year period time starting from 2002.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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