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The line graph illustrates pupils graduated from educational institutions in Canada during 1992 to 2007. Number of graduates were demonstrated in the y axis

The line graph illustrates pupils graduated from educational institutions in Canada during 1992 to 2007. Number of graduates were demonstrated in the y axis YB6mV
Overall, it's observed that number of graduates from college during 1992 to 2007 were highest among female pupils compared to male tutees. The number of female tutees graduated college in 1992 were around 100, 000. The numbers rose till 1995 and drop was noticed in 1996 by almost 5000 female pupil. The numbers were unfalterimg till 1999. From the year 2000 upsurge of female graduates were noticed. The numbers rose significantly to 150, 000 by 2007. There was increase of over 50, 000 female students from 1992 to 2007 The number of male graduates in 1992 were 70, 000 and upsurge was noticed till 1995. Following 1995 till 1998 gradual decline was noted among male tutees. The graph depicts fluctuations till 2001 and the numbers rose remarkably since 2002. The total number of male pupils graduated from educational institutions in 2007 were almost 95, 000. There was expansion of over 25000 male pupil from 1992 to 2007
Overall
, it's observed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of graduates from college during 1992 to 2007 were highest among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
compared to male
Possible spelling mistake found.
tutees
.

The
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
Possible spelling mistake found.
tutees
The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduated from".
graduated
college in 1992 were around 100, 000. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
rose till 1995 and drop
was noticed
in 1996 by almost 5000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
Possible agreement error. The noun 'pupil' seems to be countable, so consider using: "pupils".
pupil
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
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numbers
were
Possible spelling mistake found.
unfalterimg
till 1999. From the year 2000 upsurge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
graduates
were noticed
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
rose
significantly
to 150, 000 by 2007. There was increase of over 50, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
students from 1992 to 2007

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of male graduates in 1992 were 70, 000 and upsurge
was noticed
till 1995. Following 1995 till 1998 gradual decline
was noted
among male
Possible spelling mistake found.
tutees
. The graph depicts fluctuations till 2001 and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
rose
remarkably
since 2002. The total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
graduated from educational institutions in 2007 were almost 95, 000. There was expansion of over 25000 male
Possible agreement error. The noun 'pupil' seems to be countable, so consider using: "pupils".
pupil
from 1992 to 2007

IELTS academic The line graph illustrates pupils graduated from educational institutions in Canada during 1992 to 2007. Number of graduates were demonstrated in the y axis

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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