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The line graph illustrates how much money was spent on mobile phone services, and, national and international fixed line and services in the US over period of nine years.

The line graph illustrates how much money was spent on mobile phone services, and, national and international fixed line and services in the US over period of nine years. XyE6E
The line graph illustrates how much money was spent on mobile phone services, and, national and international fixed line and services in the US over period of nine years. It is clear that whereas the annual spending on cell phone services increased significantly, the opposite was true for the national landline phone service expenditure. In addition, the figure for the international fixed line packages was the lowest during this period. As can be seen from the graph that the was an average of $700 spent on national landline phone services by the US residents, in comparison with only $ 200 each one mobile phone packages in 2001. Over half a decade, the norm yearly spending expenditure on cell phone services boomed by $300. By contrast, the figure for national fixed line consumptions witnessed the considerably drop of $200. At the same time, the overseas spending fluctuated gradually below $300. In 2006, the US consumers possessed the same level in both cell phone and national services, then there was only the mobile phone’s in an upward tendency peaking at nearly $750 in the last time. On the other hand, there was a moderate decline in the proportion of national landline phone amenities by the end of the period, at $400. During this phase, the overseas phone services till stayed constant.
The
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line
graph illustrates how much money
was spent
on mobile
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phone
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services
, and,
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national
and international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
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line
and
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services
in the US over period of nine years.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that whereas the annual spending on cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
increased
significantly
, the opposite was true for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
landline
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phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
expenditure.
In addition
, the figure for the international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
packages was the lowest during this period.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the graph that
Please check whether a word is missing between 'the' and 'was' or whether 'the' is the correct determiner.
the
was an average of $700 spent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
landline
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phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
by the US residents,
in comparison
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
The currency mark is usually written without any whitespace: "$200".
$ 200
each one mobile
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phone
packages in 2001. Over half a decade, the norm yearly spending expenditure on cell
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phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
boomed by $300. By contrast, the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
line
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumptions
witnessed the
considerably
drop of $200. At the same time, the overseas spending fluctuated
gradually
below $300.

In 2006, the US consumers possessed the same level in both cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, then there was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone’s
in an upward tendency peaking at
nearly
$750 in the last time.
On the other hand
, there was a moderate decline in the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
landline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
amenities by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period, at $400. During this phase, the overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
till stayed constant.
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IELTS academic The line graph illustrates how much money was spent on mobile phone services, and, national and international fixed line and services in the US over period of nine years.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
219 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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