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Analyze the graph about Dubai gold sales in 2002

Analyze the graph about Dubai gold sales in 2002 E7N2q
The given diagram illustrates the amount of gold sold in the year 2002, in Dubai. Despite a few noticeable changes, an overall view clearly demonstrates the steadiness of the numbers in total, as the graph starts with roughly the same amount of sales as the ending of the period. The sales started off with 200 million dirhams in January, slightly rose about 25 million in February and were then followed by a drastic increase to 350 million dirhams in March. However, this upward trend suffered a sudden plunge, as the sales hit 250 million in April and continued to go down as far as about just over 100 million dirhams in July. August came about with a drastic change of almost double the sales, but this was not to last since September sales hit as low as July. October sales grew to just above 150 million, after which the trend plateaued until later that year in December, where the sales hit just about the same number the graph started off with. To conclude, sales were at their highest in March and hit the lowest figures in July and September.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
diagram illustrates the amount of gold sold in the year 2002, in Dubai. Despite a few noticeable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, an
overall
view
clearly
demonstrates the steadiness of the numbers in total, as the graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
with roughly the same amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
as the ending of the period. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
off with 200
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million
Possible spelling mistake found.
dirhams
in January,
slightly
rose about 25
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million
in February and were then followed by a drastic increase to 350
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
Possible spelling mistake found.
dirhams
in March.
However
, this upward trend suffered a sudden plunge, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hit
250
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million
in April and continued to go down as far as about
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just
over 100
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million
Possible spelling mistake found.
dirhams
in July. August came about with a drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of almost double the
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sales
,
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but
this was not to last since September
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sales
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hit
as low as July. October
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sales
grew to
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just
above 150
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million
, after which the trend plateaued until later that year in December, where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about the same number the graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
off with.
To conclude
,
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sales
were at their highest in March and
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hit
the lowest figures in July and September.
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IELTS academic Analyze the graph about Dubai gold sales in 2002

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
189 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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