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the diagrams below show the development of a small fishing village

the diagrams below show the development of a small fishing village 86x5w
The given chart illustrates the information about the changes that happened to the fish village between the 3 decades. Overall, it is evident that the village is now changes to tourist result. Moreover, the population size increased from 12, 000 to 80, 000. There were new buildings emerged in the sides of sea. Furthermore, woodland and villages were disappeared and a big golf course builts in that place. A large number of hotels emerged. In addition, pastures and olives were replaced farmland which used for the cultivation of vegetables for the hotel and also tourist shop also been established there. The seaside is been extended by creating beaches there. And also a new road is constructed across the village for travelling from other areas.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chart illustrates the information about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that happened to the fish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
between the 3 decades.

Overall
, it is evident that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to tourist result.
Moreover
, the population size increased from 12, 000 to 80, 000.

There were new buildings emerged in the sides of sea.
Furthermore
, woodland and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
villages
were disappeared
and a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
golf course
Possible spelling mistake found.
builts
in that place.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
hotels emerged.
In addition
, pastures and olives
were replaced
farmland which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the cultivation of vegetables for the hotel and
also
tourist shop
also
been established
there. The seaside
is been
extended by creating beaches there. And
also
a new road
is constructed
across the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
village
for travelling from other areas.

IELTS academic the diagrams below show the development of a small fishing village

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
124 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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