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The line graph gives information about the usage of Facebook and Twitter in Australia

The line graph gives information about the usage of Facebook and Twitter in Australia Yyalj
The line graph shows that the average users of Twitter and Facebook in a Week in Australia from 5 different years. In general, it can be seen from the graph that usage of Facebook was constantly increasing from 2012 to 2016, compared to twitter. In 2015, users of Facebook and Twitter were using 20 to 25 times per week. However, in 2013 usage of facebook was rise up from 20 and was nearest to 25 times per week and on the other hand usage of twitter application was been drop down from 24 to 13. In compare of both applications, usage of Facebook was continous rising from 2012 to 2016 and in 2016 no of times usage in a week was approx 33. Similarly usage of twitter was reduce till 2014, after that usage of twitter was slightly increase from 10 to 13 times per week from 2014 to 2015. And after that it's usage was suddently raise up from 13 to 35 times in a week in 2016 and it overtakes the users of Facebook.
The line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the average users of Twitter and Facebook in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Week
in Australia from 5
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
years.
In general
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the graph that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of Facebook was
constantly
increasing from 2012 to 2016, compared to twitter.

In 2015, users of Facebook and Twitter were using 20 to 25
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times
per
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week
.
However
, in 2013
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usage
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
was rise up from 20 and was nearest to 25
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times
per
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week
and
on the other hand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of twitter application
Did you mean "was" or "has been"?
was been
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "drop".
drop down
from 24 to 13. In compare of both applications,
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usage
of Facebook was
Possible spelling mistake found.
continous
rising from 2012 to 2016 and in 2016
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
of
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times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
was approx 33.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Similarly
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usage
of twitter was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
till 2014, after that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of twitter was
slightly
increase from 10 to 13
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
from 2014 to 2015. And after that it's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
was
Possible spelling mistake found.
suddently
raise up from 13 to 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
week
in 2016 and it overtakes the users of Facebook.
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IELTS academic The line graph gives information about the usage of Facebook and Twitter in Australia

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
176 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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