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The line graph gives information about the number of Iranian, Greek and Turkish students who enrolled at Sheffield University between 2005 and 2009

The line graph gives information about the number of Iranian, Greek and Turkish students who enrolled at Sheffield University between 2005 and 2009 wBexm
Here, the provided line graph demonstrates the data about students who took admission in sheffield university from three various region namely, Iran, Greece and Turkey from the tear 2005 to the year 2009. Overall, it is worth noticing that after year by year enrollment of student from Greece declined, but exact opposite trend is observed for students from Iran and Turkey. A glance of line represents that in 2005, around 180 students enrolled in sheffield university, after that year by year number of students who enrolled dropped dramatically and in 2009 only above 40 students took admission in sheffield university. Further analysis of line graph illustrates that in 2009 20 and below 40 students got admission in sheffield university from Turkey and Iran respectively. Followed to that trend upsurged linearly from 2005 to 2009 for both the nations and in 2009 120 students enrolled from turkey and 160 from Iran.
Here, the provided line graph demonstrates the data about
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students
who took admission in
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sheffield
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university
from three various
Possible agreement error. The noun 'region' seems to be countable, so consider using: "regions".
region
namely
, Iran, Greece and Turkey from the tear 2005 to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2009.
Overall
, it is worth noticing that after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
enrollment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
from Greece declined,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
exact opposite trend
is observed
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from Iran and Turkey. A glance of line represents that in 2005, around 180
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enrolled in
Possible spelling mistake found.
sheffield
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, after that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who enrolled dropped
dramatically
and in 2009
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
above 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
took admission in
Possible spelling mistake found.
sheffield
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
Further
analysis of line graph illustrates that in 2009 20 and below 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
admission in
Possible spelling mistake found.
sheffield
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
from Turkey and Iran
respectively
. Followed to that trend upsurged
linearly
from 2005 to 2009 for both the nations and in 2009 120
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
enrolled from
Did you mean the country "Turkey" (which needs to be capitalized)?
turkey
and 160 from Iran.

IELTS academic The line graph gives information about the number of Iranian, Greek and Turkish students who enrolled at Sheffield University between 2005 and 2009

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
150 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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