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Consumption of fast foob by Mauritian Teenagers form 1985 to 2015

Consumption of fast foob by Mauritian Teenagers form 1985 to 2015 GMJre
The provided line graph represents the consumption hamburgers, pizzas and fried chicken by Mauritian teenagers between the year 1985 to 2015. From the provided diagram, it can be clearly observed that pizzas were the favourite food among Mauritian people back, in 1985, it was consumed around 60 times a year. While the hamburgers and fried chickens were consumed less comparatively. Over the time, the pizzas lost it's popularity and was ebbed to 40 times a year by the year 2000. While the consumption of hamburger and fried chickens escalated continiously. By the year 2000 all the three items were consumed almost equally. By the year 2015 the pizza consumption of pizza plummeted and was reduced to almost 10 times a year. On the other hand, consumption of hamburger and fried chicken boomed and reached a plateau of 70 and 62 respectively. All in all, it could be observed that Mauratian teenagers tend to have varied interest in various kind of food items which changes over time.
The provided line graph represents the
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consumption
hamburgers, pizzas and
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fried
chicken by Mauritian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
between the
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year
1985 to 2015.

From the provided diagram, it can be
clearly
observed that pizzas were the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
food among Mauritian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
back, in 1985, it
was consumed
around 60
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times
a
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year
. While the hamburgers and
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fried
chickens
were consumed
less
comparatively
.

Over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, the pizzas lost
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it's
popularity and
was ebbed
to 40
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times
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
by the
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year
2000. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of hamburger and
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fried
chickens escalated
Possible spelling mistake found.
continiously
. By the
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year
2000 all the three items
were consumed
almost
equally
. By the
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year
2015 the pizza
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consumption
of pizza plummeted and was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to almost 10
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times
a
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year
.
On the other hand
,
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consumption
of hamburger and
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fried
chicken boomed and reached a plateau of 70 and 62
respectively
.

All in all, it could
be observed
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mauratian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
tend to have varied interest in various kind of food items which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS academic Consumption of fast foob by Mauritian Teenagers form 1985 to 2015

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
166 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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