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The line graph give information consume of fast food the youngsters of Australia from 1950 to2000

The line graph give information consume of fast food the youngsters of Australia from 1950 to2000 aJQ6m
The line graph illustration consumption of junk food by the youngsters of Australia between 1950 and 2000. Overall, Friend was shown in the Hamburger and piza whereas, fish and chips represented downward trend. In 1975, fish and chips were two items of fast food which consumed 100times by Australian teenagers. After five years they showed slight change. But in 1985 demand of fish and chips rose slowly. young generation of Australia ate them 85 times. However, after this significant change was noticed in the case of consumption of fish and chips. finally, in 2000, teenagers purchased them 40 times. Furthermore, Hamburger was the other kind of junk food. in the initial year, dramatically change was observed in consumption of it. demand of this increased in the 1985. Australia purchased it 85 times. Surprisingly, it taught above than 100 times in 2000as it reached at the peak point. Moreover, consumption of pizza was only 5 Percent in 1975. from 1980_1990, demand for it dramatically increased. But in 1995 and after five years consumption of it remained constant.
The line graph illustration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of junk food by the youngsters of Australia between 1950 and 2000.

Overall
, Friend
was shown
in the Hamburger and
Possible spelling mistake found.
piza
whereas, fish and chips represented downward trend.

In 1975, fish and chips were two items of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food which consumed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
100times
by Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
five years they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
slight
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in 1985 demand of fish and chips rose
slowly
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
young
generation of Australia ate them 85
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
However
, after this significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
was noticed
in the case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of fish and chips.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
finally
, in 2000,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
them 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
Furthermore
, Hamburger was the other kind of junk food.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the initial year,
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
was observed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of it. demand of this increased in the 1985. Australia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
it 85
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
.
Surprisingly
, it taught
Use "(above)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
above
than 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
in 2000as it reached at the peak point.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of pizza was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5 Percent in 1975.
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 1980 to 1990"?
from 1980_1990
, demand for it
dramatically
increased.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in 1995 and after five years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of it remained constant.
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IELTS academic The line graph give information consume of fast food the youngsters of Australia from 1950 to2000

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
176 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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