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Consumption of Butter, Margarine and Low Fat and Reduced Spreads

Consumption of Butter, Margarine and Low Fat and Reduced Spreads qRaEX
The graph shows the consumption of three spreads (margarine, low fat and reduced spreads and butter) over the course of 26 years (from 1981 to 2007). The units are measured in grams. The first two contenders were butter and margarine, with the former leading the consumption in 1981. In 1991, both are consumed almost equally. The consumption of both butter and margarine took a hit by 2007. In 1981, butter was leading at around 140 grams compared to 90 grams of margarine. By 1996, the consumption of margarine at 100 grams while that of butter was around 70 grams. A new variant – the low fat and reduced spreads – started in the same year and started gaining quite some popularity. In the beginning, it started at about 10 grams and by 2001, the consumption of low fat and reduced spreads peaked to a little over 80 grams. From there, its consumption started declining until in 2007, it came to be around 70 grams. With the introduction of low fat and reduced spreads, the consumption of butter and margarine reached around 50 grams and 40 grams, respectively.
The graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
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consumption
of three
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spreads
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(margarine
,
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low
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fat
and
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reduced
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spreads
and
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butter)
over the course of 26 years (from 1981 to 2007). The units
are measured
in grams.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
first
two contenders were
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butter
and
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margarine
, with the former leading the
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consumption
in 1981. In 1991, both
are consumed
almost
equally
. The
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consumption
of both
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butter
and
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margarine
took a hit by 2007.

In 1981,
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butter
was leading at
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around
140
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grams
compared to 90
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grams
of
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margarine
. By 1996, the
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consumption
of
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margarine
at 100
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grams
while that of
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butter
was
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around
70
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grams
. A new variant
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
the
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low
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fat
and
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reduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spreads
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
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started
in the same year and
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started
gaining quite
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some
popularity. In the beginning, it
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started
at about 10
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grams
and by 2001, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
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low
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fat
and
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reduced
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spreads
peaked to a
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little
over 80
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grams
. From there, its
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consumption
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started
declining until in 2007, it came to be
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around
70 grams.

With the introduction of
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low
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fat
and
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reduced
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spreads
, the
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consumption
of
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butter
and
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margarine
reached
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around
50
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grams
and 40
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grams
,
respectively
.
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IELTS academic Consumption of Butter, Margarine and Low Fat and Reduced Spreads

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
187 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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