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The line graph enlighten on thousand people including male and female about the rates of smoking in someland of four decades from 1960 through 2000 From the line graph, male which indicates that, in 1960 their ratio was very low at that time.

The line graph enlighten on thousand people including male and female about the rates of smoking in someland of four decades from 1960 through 2000 From the line graph, male which indicates that, in 1960 their ratio was very low at that time. Kw0d3
The line graph enlighten on thousand people including male and female about the rates of smoking in someland of four decades from 1960 through 2000 From the line graph, male which indicates that, in 1960 their ratio was very low at that time. Which was only 500 per 1000 people. As years passed there was rapidly increased in 1965 and stabilize during 5 years at number of 180. Again till 1975 it rose year by year. In 1980 to 1990 for one decade it would be stable at 200 people. Interestingly females consumers were decreased by 2000. The male consumer was the highest at 600 in number at 1960. Years of two decades it displayed decreasing amount of tobaccu consumer. It was rapidly decrease the male consumer till 2000. In 2000, the man ratio almost half than male per 1000 people. To overall, it has been observed that male smokers rate were changed after four decades. And female shows the various ups as well as down in number whivh was high tan initial data
The line graph enlighten on thousand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
including male and female about the rates of smoking in
Possible spelling mistake found.
someland
of four decades from 1960 through 2000 From the line graph, male which indicates that, in 1960 their ratio was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low at that time.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
500 per 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. As years passed there was
rapidly
increased in 1965 and stabilize during 5 years at number of 180. Again till 1975 it rose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. In 1980 to 1990 for one decade it would be stable at 200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Interestingly
females
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
were decreased
by 2000. The male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
was the highest at 600 in number at 1960. Years of two decades it displayed decreasing amount of
Possible spelling mistake found.
tobaccu
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
. It was
rapidly
Consider using a past participle here: "decreased".
decrease
the male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
till 2000. In 2000, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
ratio almost half than male per 1000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. To
overall
, it has
been observed
that male smokers rate were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
after four decades. And female
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the various ups
as well
as down in number
Possible spelling mistake found.
whivh
was high tan initial
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
data
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IELTS academic The line graph enlighten on thousand people including male and female about the rates of smoking in someland of four decades from 1960 through 2000 From the line graph, male which indicates that, in 1960 their ratio was very low at that time.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
173 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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