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The line graph describes how the amount and category of fast food consumption in Australian youngsters changed between 1975 and 2000.

The line graph describes how the amount and category of fast food consumption in Australian youngsters changed between 1975 and 2000. radlL
The line graph describes how the amount and category of fast food consumption in Australian youngsters changed between 1975 and 2000. Overall, fish and chips had the downward trend in this graph. While, both pizza and hamburger had the upward trend. The number of Hamburgers in 2000 was the highest. Whereas, in 1975 the data of pizza was the lowest point in the line graph. The number of times eaten fish and chips by teenagers in Australia from 1975 to 1985 was fluctuated by 5 times. After that, the data of fish and chips was decreased dramatically by 56 times eaten per year from 1985 to 2000. From 1975 to 1985, the number of hamburgers eaten increased sharply from 15 to 85 times and then continued to increase by 15 times from 1985 to 2000. We witnessed the data of pizza was increased by 80 times eaten between 1975 and 1995 and then leveled out in 2000
The line graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
how the amount and category of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food consumption in Australian youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
between 1975 and 2000.

Overall
, fish and chips had the downward trend in this graph. While, both pizza and hamburger had the upward trend. The number of Hamburgers in 2000 was the highest.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, in 1975 the data of pizza was the lowest point in the line graph.

The number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eaten
fish and chips by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in Australia from 1975 to 1985
was fluctuated
by 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
. After that, the data of fish and chips
was decreased
dramatically
by 56
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eaten
per year from 1985 to 2000. From 1975 to 1985, the number of hamburgers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eaten
increased
sharply
from 15 to 85
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
and then continued to increase by 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
from 1985 to 2000. We witnessed the data of pizza
was increased
by 80
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eaten
between 1975 and 1995 and then leveled out in 2000
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IELTS academic The line graph describes how the amount and category of fast food consumption in Australian youngsters changed between 1975 and 2000.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
156 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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