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Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons between the honey-bee colonies and the honey production.

Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons between the honey-bee colonies and the honey production. RwO9Y
The charts depict information about the number of honey-bee colonies and the amount of honey that had been produced between 1970 and 2010 in the United States. Overall, the honey-bee colonies had some similarities with the honey production, they decreased from 1970 to 2010, but there was an exception in 1980. The number of honey-bee colonies started at 4 millions in 1970, then reached the peak in 1980 with 4, 2 millions of colonies. But it no longer declined significantly in the next 3 years, from 3, 5 millions in 1990 to 1, 7 millions in 2010. During the same period, the amount of honey that had been produced in 1970 started at 130, 000 tonnes, but it then quickly fell to 110, 000 tonnes in 1980. 1990 saw a slight climb in the quantity of honey production, but there was a considerable decline from 1990 to 2010, hit the lowest point and ended up at 70, 000. A phenomenon appeared between the honey-bee colonies and the production of honey from 1990 to 2010, in which the honey-bee colonies seemed to affect the honey production greatly.
The charts depict information about the number of honey-bee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
and the amount of honey that had
been produced
between 1970 and 2010 in the United States.

Overall
, the honey-bee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
similarities with the honey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
, they decreased from 1970 to 2010,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there was an exception in 1980.

The number of honey-bee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
in 1970, then reached the peak in 1980 with 4, 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it no longer declined
significantly
in the
next
3 years, from 3, 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
in 1990 to 1, 7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
in 2010.

During the same period, the amount of honey that had
been produced
in 1970
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at 130, 000 tonnes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it then
quickly
fell to 110, 000 tonnes in 1980. 1990
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a slight climb in the quantity of honey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there was a considerable decline from 1990 to 2010, hit the lowest point and ended up at 70, 000. A phenomenon appeared between the honey-bee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
of honey from 1990 to 2010, in which the honey-bee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
colonies
seemed to affect the honey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
greatly
.
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IELTS academic Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons between the honey-bee colonies and the honey production.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
186 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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