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Percentage of total music sales by method by people. Write atleast 150 words

Percentage of total music sales by method by people. Write atleast 150 words gAPEg
The graph illustrates various trends in the buying habits concerning music which is measured in percentage between the years 2011 and 2018. It presents three different methods (streaming, downloading and buying CDs). Overall, both downloads and physical sales of music had steadily declined. The latter depicts a falling trend after 2011, while the downturn for the former began in 2014. However, there has been a sharp rise/upsurge in people streaming music since 2013. In 2011, the majority of music sales were of CDs, at 55% of all sales. In contrast, streaming was not common at all at only 5%. Also, although people had started to download music, it only represented 35% of sales. As sales of CDs began to fall, downloads started to rise. They rose steadily and downloads overtook physical sales in mid-2013. During the same period, streaming doubled to 10% but then it started to grow more dramatically. Downloads peaked in 2014 at about 43% of sales but fell to 30% by 2018. This was slightly higher than physical sales, which shrank to 25%. Streaming, on the other hand, overtook both of them and accounted for just over 40% of sales in 2018.
The graph illustrates various trends in the

buying habits concerning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
which
is measured
in percentage between the years

2011 and 2018. It presents three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different


methods
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(streaming
, downloading and buying

CDs).

Overall
, both downloads and physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of music

had
steadily
declined. The latter depicts a falling

trend after 2011, while the downturn for the former

began in 2014.
However
, there has been a sharp

rise/upsurge in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streaming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
since 2013.

In 2011, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
were of CDs, at

55% of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streaming
was not

common at all at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5%.
Also
, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to download
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
represented 35%

of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of CDs began to fall, downloads

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to rise. They rose
steadily
and downloads

overtook physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
in mid-2013. During the same

period,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
streaming
doubled to 10%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started


to grow more
dramatically
.

Downloads peaked in 2014 at about 43% of sales

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
fell to 30% by 2018. This was
slightly
higher than

physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
, which shrank to 25%.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Streaming
, on

the other hand, overtook both of them and

accounted for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 40% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
in 2018.
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IELTS academic Percentage of total music sales by method by people. Write atleast 150 words

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
195 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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