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The line graph depicts the yearly proportion of visitors to a certain island in The Caribbean from 2010 to 2017. In general, the number of guests multiplied in seven years.

The line graph depicts the yearly proportion of visitors to a certain island in The Caribbean from 2010 to 2017. In general, the number of guests multiplied in seven years. lLjeK
The depicted chart illustrates the total number of visitors who visited the particular place called Caribbean Island over 7 years from 2010 to 2017. It is also shown that the categories of residing places are chosen by tourists. As an overall summary, the picture shows that the maximum number of tourists went to the Island in 2017. On the contrast, it seems that there had an decrease to choose staying on cruise ships over on island in the last year. People had gone to the Island by 1 and 1. 5 million in 2010 and 2012 respectively. While the number of people going there had been risen up slightly. Most of them had preferred to stay on Island rather than on ship. However, People choice over accommodation was changed dramatically in 2012. In 2013 and 2014. Island became successful to welcome tourists by 0. 5 millions. Where the staying number of people on Island remained same between those years but the large quantity of people adored to accommodate on ship. In 2015 and 2016, the number of visitor steadily remained same. On the contrary, interests towards choosing place to stay fluctuated. 2017 was the most profitable year for Island Local people who had served 3. 5 millions of tourists from all over the world.
The depicted chart illustrates the total
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number
of visitors who visited the particular place called Caribbean
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Island
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over
7 years from 2010 to 2017. It is
also
shown that the categories of residing places
are chosen
by tourists.

As an
overall
summary, the picture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the maximum
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number
of tourists went to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Island
in 2017. On the contrast, it seems that there had
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
decrease to choose
If 'choose' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to stay".
staying
on cruise ships
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over
on
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island
in the last year.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
had gone to the
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Island
by 1 and 1. 5 million in 2010 and 2012
respectively
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the
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number
of
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people
going there had
been risen
up
slightly
. Most of them had preferred to stay on
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Island
rather
than on ship.
However
,
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People
choice
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over
accommodation was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
dramatically
in 2012. In 2013 and 2014.
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Island
became successful to welcome tourists by 0. 5 millions. Where the staying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Island
remained same between those years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the large quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
adored to accommodate on ship.

In 2015 and 2016, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of visitor
steadily
remained same.
On the contrary
, interests towards choosing place to stay fluctuated. 2017 was the most profitable year for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Island
Local
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people
who had served 3.
Use a singular form of the numeral here: "5 million".
5 millions of
tourists from all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the world.

IELTS academic The line graph depicts the yearly proportion of visitors to a certain island in The Caribbean from 2010 to 2017. In general, the number of guests multiplied in seven years.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
214 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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