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The chart below show four retail sectors in canada in term of the fraction of their internet sales in year from 2005 to 2010.

The chart below show four retail sectors in canada in term of the fraction of their internet sales in year from 2005 to 2010. 5a6aN
The presented pie charts illustrate information about the four retail sectors in forign country Canada in term of fraction of their internet sales in your between 2005 and 2010. Overall, it is explicitfrom the circular charts that perportion of online sales for each of the four sectors cganged significantly in the given the other two sectors fell. To begin with, in 2005, the properation of online sales of food and beverages was 22% and this inclined to 32% in 2010. The percentage for internet sales of video games also went up, by 5% from the 2005 figure of 18%in 2010. In contrast, the percentage of the online sales and other sectors decreased. The nost dramatic decline was home furnishings retail sector. While, this diagram was a quarter of these four sectors total online sales in 2005, it fell to 15% in 2010. There was aslo a decrease in the electronics and apoliances sector. Which decreased by a difference of 5%in 2005.
The presented pie charts illustrate information about the four retail
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sectors
in
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forign
country Canada in term of fraction of their internet
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sales
in your between 2005 and 2010.

Overall
, it is
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explicitfrom
the circular charts that
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perportion
of
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online
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sales
for each of the four
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sectors
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cganged
significantly
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the other two
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sectors
fell.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in 2005, the
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properation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of food and beverages was 22% and this inclined to 32% in 2010. The percentage for internet
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sales
of video games
also
went up, by 5% from the 2005 figure of 18%in 2010.

In contrast
, the percentage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
decreased. The
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nost
dramatic decline was home furnishings retail
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
. While, this diagram was a quarter of these four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
in 2005, it fell to 15% in 2010. There was
Possible spelling mistake found.
aslo
a decrease in the electronics and
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apoliances
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
decreased by a difference of 5%in 2005.
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IELTS academic The chart below show four retail sectors in canada in term of the fraction of their internet sales in year from 2005 to 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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