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The line graph demonstrates the new changes in average prices of cutting-edge mobile devices in a few countries from 2004 to 2006.

The line graph demonstrates the new changes in average prices of cutting-edge mobile devices in a few countries from 2004 to 2006. b2m2W
The line graph demonstrates the new changes of average prices of cutting-edge mobile devices in Somecountry from two quarters of 2004 to 2006. In general, it can be seen that the prices of navigation systems and smartphones experienced a downward trend in the period given; also, the navigation gadget was sold at higher prices. Starting from the navigation device’s values, which reached a peak at around 4000 dollars from July to December of 2004, these held a progressive decrease at over 3000 dollars in the next year. At this point, the prices showed the element of recovery from the first six months in 2006, and then dramatically plummeted at approximately 2600 dollars at the end of the year. Coming to the values of the smartphone, which started at over 3, 000 dollars in the first half of the year. Following this, the average prices slightly plunged at around $2, 800 and recovered at the end of 2005. Then, the values showed the element of stability until the last six months of 2006 with about 2, 600 dollars.
The line graph demonstrates the new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of cutting-edge mobile devices in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Somecountry
from two quarters of 2004 to 2006.

In general
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of navigation systems and smartphones experienced a downward trend in the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
;
also
, the navigation gadget
was sold
at higher prices.

Starting from the navigation device’s values, which reached a peak at around 4000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
from July to
When specifying a month and year, 'of' is unnecessary: "December 2004".
December of 2004
, these held a progressive decrease at over 3000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
in the
next
year. At this point, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the element of recovery from the
first
six months in 2006, and then
dramatically
plummeted at approximately 2600
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year.

Coming to the values of the smartphone, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at over 3, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
in the
first
half of the year. Following this, the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
slightly
plunged at around $2, 800 and recovered at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2005. Then, the values
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the element of stability until the last six months of 2006 with about 2, 600
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
.
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IELTS academic The line graph demonstrates the new changes in average prices of cutting-edge mobile devices in a few countries from 2004 to 2006.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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