Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The line graph demonstrates the new changes in average prices of cutting-edge mobile devices in a few countries from 2004 to 2006.

The line graph demonstrates the new changes in average prices of cutting-edge mobile devices in a few countries from 2004 to 2006. b2m2W
The line graph demonstrates the new changes of average prices of cutting-edge mobile devices in Somecountry from two quarters of 2004 to 2006. In general, it can be seen that the prices of navigation systems and smartphones experienced a downward trend in the period given; also, the navigation gadget was sold at higher prices. Starting from the navigation device’s values, which reached a peak at around 4000 dollars from July to December of 2004, these held a progressive decrease at over 3000 dollars in the next year. At this point, the prices showed the element of recovery from the first six months in 2006, and then dramatically plummeted at approximately 2600 dollars at the end of the year. Coming to the values of the smartphone, which started at over 3, 000 dollars in the first half of the year. Following this, the average prices slightly plunged at around $2, 800 and recovered at the end of 2005. Then, the values showed the element of stability until the last six months of 2006 with about 2, 600 dollars.
The line graph demonstrates the new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of cutting-edge mobile devices in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Somecountry
from two quarters of 2004 to 2006.

In general
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of navigation systems and smartphones experienced a downward trend in the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
;
also
, the navigation gadget
was sold
at higher prices.

Starting from the navigation device’s values, which reached a peak at around 4000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
from July to
When specifying a month and year, 'of' is unnecessary: "December 2004".
December of 2004
, these held a progressive decrease at over 3000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
in the
next
year. At this point, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the element of recovery from the
first
six months in 2006, and then
dramatically
plummeted at approximately 2600
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year.

Coming to the values of the smartphone, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
at over 3, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
in the
first
half of the year. Following this, the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
slightly
plunged at around $2, 800 and recovered at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of 2005. Then, the values
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the element of stability until the last six months of 2006 with about 2, 600
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dollars
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The line graph demonstrates the new changes in average prices of cutting-edge mobile devices in a few countries from 2004 to 2006.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
177 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    The chart shows people on their managing finances
    The graph provided illustrates the percentage of people managing their finances. The graph shows 4 types of financial management being very organized, fairly organized, not very organized, not all organized. Overall, the graph shows that most people have fairly organized their financial management,...
  • 6.5band
    how the men and women in UK choose to spend their time during unemployment
    The table shows the percentage on how the men and women in UK choose to spend their time during unemployment. In total, there are 15 categories listed for activities done in the morning and afternoon. The figures show that in the morning, while the majority of men preferred to use their time for jo...
  • 5band
    The graph illustrates minutes of time spent by both sexes on the daily six household chores in Great Britain.
    The above graph illustrates minutes of time spent by both sexes on the daily six household chores in Great Britain. In general, males are more interested in doing gardening and pet care whereas females prefer cooking most compared to all. In detail, men seem to avoid doing ironing and washing, comi...
  • 6band
    The bar graph shows the data of telephone calls in the UK, by category, at the year of 1995-2002.
    The bar graph illustrated the data of telephone calls in the UK at the year 1995-2002. The data are shown in 3 categories being local calls(fixed line), national and international calls(fixed line), and mobile calls(all calls). Overall, data shows that most of the telephone calls happening in the U...
  • 6band
    the shows the process of rainwater in an Australian town
    The diagram illustrates the process of rainwater harvesting in an Australian town and then coverted into drinking water. Water is an essential for the survival of humans so is its crucial that we consume clean and safe drinking water in order to stay fit and healthy. Firstly, rainwater is safety co...
  • 5band
    Moblie phones and landlines per 100people
    The bar graph gives detali information about the number of mobile phones and landlines per 100people in countries. Overall mobile phones had the highest used people in the Italy cityFristly, taking close look to the column graph that in landlines had 10 people higher than Sweden in comparison to tha...





Get more results for topic:
  • The line graph demonstrates the new changes in average prices of cutting-edge mobile devices in a few countries from 2004 to 2006.