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Moblie phones and landlines per 100people

Moblie phones and landlines per 100people j8ErX
The bar graph gives detali information about the number of mobile phones and landlines per 100people in countries. Overall mobile phones had the highest used people in the Italy cityFristly, taking close look to the column graph that in landlines had 10 people higher than Sweden in comparison to than Uk. Where as it had 38per per person increase in Canada to Denmark. Which had rapidly down in Italy full by 4 peopleSecondly, we can see that in mobile phones had gradually increase since, the USA to Sweden. Which were respectively 48, 70, 82, 84and 88To sum up, saying that in per 100person had the very lowest in the whole graph with 38person in canada
The bar graph gives
Possible spelling mistake found.
detali
information about the number of mobile phones and landlines per 100people in countries.
Overall
mobile phones had the highest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the Italy
Possible spelling mistake found.
cityFristly
, taking close look to the column graph that in landlines had 10
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
higher than Sweden
in comparison
to than
Possible spelling mistake found.
Uk
.
Did you mean "Whereas"?
Where as
it had 38per per person increase in Canada to Denmark. Which had
rapidly
down in Italy full by 4
Possible spelling mistake found.
peopleSecondly
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that in mobile phones had
gradually
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "increased".
increase
since, the USA to Sweden. Which were
respectively
48, 70, 82, 84and 88To sum up, saying that in per 100person had the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
lowest in the whole graph with 38person in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
canada
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IELTS academic Moblie phones and landlines per 100people

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
114 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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