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how the men and women in UK choose to spend their time during unemployment

how the men and women in UK choose to spend their time during unemployment 0wyEG
The table shows the percentage on how the men and women in UK choose to spend their time during unemployment. In total, there are 15 categories listed for activities done in the morning and afternoon. The figures show that in the morning, while the majority of men preferred to use their time for job hunting (22%), most women choose to use this time to do housework (26%), an activity which most men do in the afternoon (21%) instead. For women, job hunting mostly takes place in the afternoon (17%). Other than looking for new working opportunities, women also tend to go shopping and visit their friends or relatives at this point of their day, both of which are placed at 17%. Having said that, 21% of women still preferred to do housework in the afternoon. It can be seen that both genders are least likely to use their time in the morning by drinking, with only 2% of men and 1% of women has ticked the option. There are also visibly no women interested to spend the start of the day and even later on in the afternoon by playing sport and staying in beed. Similarly, only 1% of men spend their afternoon by staying in bed.
The table
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shows
the percentage on how the
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men
and
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women
in UK choose to spend their
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time
during unemployment. In total, there are 15 categories listed for activities done in the morning and afternoon.

The figures
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that in the morning, while the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
preferred to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
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time
for job hunting (22%), most
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women
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
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time
to do housework (26%), an activity which most
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men
do in the afternoon (21%)
instead
. For
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women
, job hunting
mostly
takes place in the afternoon (17%). Other than looking for new working opportunities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
also
tend to go shopping and visit their friends or relatives at this point of their day, both of which
are placed
at 17%. Having said that, 21% of
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women
still
preferred to do housework in the afternoon.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that both genders are least likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the morning by drinking, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2% of
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men
and 1% of
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women
has ticked the option. There are
also
visibly
no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
interested to spend the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the day and even later on in the afternoon by playing sport and staying in
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "was", the past tense form of the verb 'be'?
beed
.
Similarly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
spend their afternoon by staying in bed.
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IELTS academic how the men and women in UK choose to spend their time during unemployment

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
207 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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