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the shows the process of rainwater in an Australian town

the shows the process of rainwater in an Australian town 96jGX
The diagram illustrates the process of rainwater harvesting in an Australian town and then coverted into drinking water. Water is an essential for the survival of humans so is its crucial that we consume clean and safe drinking water in order to stay fit and healthy. Firstly, rainwater is safety collected from the roof through the drainage system via gutters, secondly, the water is filtered through a water filter system, thirdly, the water is transfered through pipes to a storage container, next the water is moved to a water treatment plant for further filteration where the water is treated with chemicals, lastly, drinking water is carried to the Australian town via pipes for household purposes. In conclusion, water goes through numerous steps in order to make it clean and safe for human consumption, Overall, rainwater can be used for drinking purpose when filtered and correctly treated with the right amount of chemicals.
The diagram illustrates the process of rainwater harvesting in an Australian town and then
Possible spelling mistake found.
coverted
into
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drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Water
is an essential for the survival of humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
is its crucial that we consume clean and safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in order to stay fit and healthy.

Firstly
, rainwater is safety collected from the roof
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
the drainage system via gutters,
secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is filtered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
filter system,
thirdly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "transferred", the past tense form of the verb 'transfer'?
transfered
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through
pipes to a storage container,
next
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
treatment plant for
further
Possible spelling mistake found.
filteration
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is treated
with chemicals,
lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is carried
to the Australian town via pipes for household purposes.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
goes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
through
numerous steps in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it clean and safe for human consumption,
Overall
, rainwater can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinking
purpose when filtered and
correctly
treated with the right amount of chemicals.
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IELTS academic the shows the process of rainwater in an Australian town

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
152 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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