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The bar graph shows the data of telephone calls in the UK, by category, at the year of 1995-2002.

The bar graph shows the data of telephone calls in the UK, by category, at the year of 1995-2002. KV53N
The bar graph illustrated the data of telephone calls in the UK at the year 1995-2002. The data are shown in 3 categories being local calls(fixed line), national and international calls(fixed line), and mobile calls(all calls). Overall, data shows that most of the telephone calls happening in the UK are local calls with national and international coming in second and mobile calls coming in last. Local calls in the UK are accounted for about 70 billion minutes in the year 1995 which gradually increase through the years peaking at the year 1999 which then decreases to the lowest minutes accounted at the year 2002 with data showing around 70 billion minutes of calls. National and international calls in the UK in 1995 are accumulated above 35 billion minutes which gradually increase until the year 2002, peaking at 60 billion minutes of calls. Mobile calls in the UK weren't as famous as the other two categories at the year 1995 with only above 1 billion minutes of calls accounted, but it will gradually increase as years come and had its peak at the year 2002 with around 45 billion minutes of calls.
The bar graph illustrated the
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data
of telephone
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calls
in the UK at the
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year
1995-2002. The
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data
are shown
in 3 categories being local calls(
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
line), national and international calls(
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
line), and mobile calls(all calls).

Overall
,
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data
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that most of the telephone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
happening in the UK are local
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calls
with national and international coming in second and mobile
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calls
coming in last.

Local
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calls
in the UK
are accounted
for about 70
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billion
minutes in the
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year
1995 which
gradually
increase through the years peaking at the
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year
1999 which then decreases to the lowest minutes accounted at the
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year
2002 with
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data
showing around 70
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billion
minutes of calls.

National and international
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calls
in the UK in 1995
are accumulated
above 35
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billion
minutes which
gradually
increase until the
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year
2002, peaking at 60
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
minutes of calls.

Mobile
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calls
in the UK weren't as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
as the other two categories at the
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year
1995 with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
above 1
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billion
minutes of
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calls
accounted,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
gradually
increase as years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and had its peak at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2002 with around 45
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billion
minutes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
calls
.
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IELTS academic The bar graph shows the data of telephone calls in the UK, by category, at the year of 1995-2002.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
191 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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