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The line graph compares the proportion of Australian immigrants born in various parts of the world between 1976 and 2011.

The line graph compares the proportion of Australian immigrants born in various parts of the world between 1976 and 2011. ElaRD
The line graph compares the proportion of Australian immigrants born in various parts of the world between 1976 and 2011. It is clear that the overall trend was upward except for the percentage of people born in the UK. In addition, the rate of immigrants from the UK plummeted from the first to the third place, while the figure for Asia surpassed that of the two remaining categories to end the period at the first place. Turning to the detail, the proportion of people living in Australia who came from the UK declined dramatically from 14% in 1976 to 5% at the end of the period. By contrast, that of Asia saw a moderate upturn from 3% in the first year to 15% in 2011. When it comes to other regions, the figure declined remarkably from 12% in 1976 to 6% in 1986, then rose significantly to approximately 15% and ended the period at 11%. Similarly, a minimal decrease of 2% was seen in the rate of the total population migrating to Australia in the first 25 years, which was followed by a rapid recovery to reach 25% in the year 2011.
The line graph compares the proportion of Australian immigrants born in various parts of the world between 1976 and 2011.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
overall
trend was upward
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
born in the UK.
In addition
, the rate of immigrants from the UK plummeted from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
to the third place, while the figure for Asia surpassed that of the two remaining categories to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
the period at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
place.

Turning to the detail, the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in Australia who came from the UK declined
dramatically
from 14% in 1976 to 5% at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period. By contrast, that of Asia
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a moderate upturn from 3% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
year to 15% in 2011.

When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to other regions, the figure declined
remarkably
from 12% in 1976 to 6% in 1986, then rose
significantly
to approximately 15% and ended the period at 11%.
Similarly
, a minimal decrease of 2% was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the rate of the total population migrating to Australia in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
25 years, which
was followed
by a rapid recovery to reach 25% in the year 2011.
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IELTS academic The line graph compares the proportion of Australian immigrants born in various parts of the world between 1976 and 2011.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
192 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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