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Describe the key features of the pie chart.

Describe the key features of the pie chart. 1awg7
The data of these pie charts analyze the highest level of education Pursue by women living in some land in the year of 1994 and 1995. Observably, women in 1995 had more education than women Overall, at the beginning of the first period, it is noticeable that women are not quite educated even more than half of the women's total population hadn't joined any school however, only 1% of women completed their first degree. in comparison, according to the second scale ratio of women having the highest level of education distinctively change and grows. only 20 % of women founded uneducated. Women in 1995 having graduation degrees rapidly increased by 50 %. Whereas, 9 % of women had completed their 9th-grade while 20 % finished graduation and post-graduation. the positive devlopation of education can be found from this data
The data of these pie charts analyze the highest level of
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education
Pursue by
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women
living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
land in the year of 1994 and 1995.
Observably
,
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women
in 1995 had more
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education
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
Overall
, at the beginning of the
first
period, it is noticeable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not quite educated even more than half of the women's total population hadn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
any school
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
completed their
first
degree.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
comparison, according to the second scale ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
having the highest level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
distinctively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and grows.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
only
20 % of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
founded uneducated.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Women
in 1995 having graduation degrees
rapidly
increased by 50 %. Whereas, 9 % of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
had completed their 9th-grade while 20 % finished graduation and post-graduation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
Possible spelling mistake found.
devlopation
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can
be found
from this
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
data

IELTS academic Describe the key features of the pie chart.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
138 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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