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The process of bmaking bricks for the building industry

The process of bmaking bricks for the building industry rL9rp
The diagram illustrates the process of making bricks for the building industry. Overall, it is clear that the process goes through seven steps, beginning with digging up clay and ending in delivery. As can be seen from the picture, the first step is that the clay is dug up from the ground by a large digger. Before breaking up the clay into smaller pieces on the roller, it is placed on a metal grid. Subsequently, the clay is mixed with sand and water, and this mixture is poured into a mould or a wire cutter to form bricks. The next step is that after drying in a drying oven for 24-48 hours, they are heated in a kiln at a moderate and high temperature (roughly from 200oC to 1300oC) and cooled in a chamber for 48-72 hours. In the last stage of this process, the bricks are packaged and delivered for building.
The diagram illustrates the process of making bricks for the building industry.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the process goes through seven steps, beginning with digging up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clay
and ending in delivery.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the picture, the
first
step is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clay
is dug
up from the ground by a large digger.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
breaking up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clay
into smaller pieces on the roller, it
is placed
on a metal grid.
Subsequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clay
is mixed
with sand and water, and this mixture
is poured
into a
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
or a wire cutter to form bricks.

The
next
step is that after drying in a drying oven for 24-48 hours, they
are heated
in a kiln at a moderate and high temperature (roughly from 200oC to 1300oC) and cooled in a chamber for 48-72 hours. In the last stage of this process, the bricks
are packaged
and delivered for building.

IELTS academic The process of bmaking bricks for the building industry

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
152 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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