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The graph reveals the proportion of people from different age groups using Twitter from November 2010 to May 2013

The graph reveals the proportion of people from different age groups using Twitter from November 2010 to May 2013 ElaJD
The graph reveals the proportion of people from different age groups using Twitter from November 2010 to May 2013. Generally, the trend in the percentage of people using Twitter is upward, people aged from 18 to 29 tend to use this social networking the most. Seniors, on the other hand, are less likely to utilize Twitter. There was a significant increase in the number of teenagers using Twitter. Starting at 14% in November 2010, after 1 month, the figure rose gradually to 18%, and for the next year, the trend was unchanged. In 2012, the proportion of a number of youngsters hit the peak of 32% and then fluctuated around 27% and 30%. Over a three-year period, people aged 30 to 49 saw a fluctuation from 8% to 12%, then fluctuated and climbed to 16% in 2013. With people in the 50 to 60 age group, the figure rose from 6% in 2010 and then rose to 13% in May 2013. By comparison, the proportion of people at the age of more than 65 who used Twitter peaked at approximately 6% and then dropped to five percent at the end.
The graph reveals the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
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different
age groups using Twitter from November 2010 to May 2013.
Generally
, the trend in the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using Twitter is upward,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aged from 18 to 29 tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this social networking the most. Seniors,
on the other hand
, are less likely to utilize Twitter.

There was a significant increase in the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
using Twitter. Starting at 14% in November 2010, after 1 month, the figure rose
gradually
to 18%, and for the
next
year, the trend
was unchanged
. In 2012, the proportion of a number of youngsters hit the peak of 32% and then fluctuated around 27% and 30%.

Over a three-year period,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aged 30 to 49
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a fluctuation from 8% to 12%, then fluctuated and climbed to 16% in 2013. With
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the 50 to 60 age group, the figure rose from 6% in 2010 and then rose to 13% in May 2013.

By comparison, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at the age of more than 65 who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Twitter peaked at approximately 6% and then dropped to five percent at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.
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IELTS academic The graph reveals the proportion of people from different age groups using Twitter from November 2010 to May 2013

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
190 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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