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The Line Graph Below Shows The Percentage Of Tourists To Scotland Who Visited Four Different Attractions

The Line Graph Below Shows The Percentage Of Tourists To Scotland Who Visited Four Different Attractions mXAjr
The line graph illustrates the comparison in the proportion of tourists to Scotland who went to four different Edinburgh destinations from 1980 to 2010. Overall, there is a significant rise in the percentage of people visiting Castle, while the figure for Festival generally remains stable during the period. As can be seen from the graph, the rate of visitors who went to Castle experienced enormous growth from nearly 25% to 45% between 1980 and 1995 before decreasing dramatically by 15% in the year 2010. Staring with 30% in 1980, the figure for that visiting the festival fluctuated slightly but in general remained stable at about 25% over the next period. It could be noticed that the proportion of tourists who visited the aquarium oscillated between 1980 and 1995 and reached a peak of approximately 35%, followed by a significant drop to around 8% in the next 15 years. As regards the zoo, after fluctuating steadily in the percentage of visitors from 1980 to 2000, the figure of that rose sharply to 20% in 2010.
The line graph illustrates the comparison in the proportion of tourists to Scotland who went to four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Edinburgh destinations from 1980 to 2010.

Overall
, there is a significant rise in the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visiting Castle, while the figure for Festival
generally
remains stable during the period.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the graph, the rate of visitors who went to Castle experienced enormous growth from
nearly
25% to 45% between 1980 and 1995
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
decreasing
dramatically
by 15% in the year 2010. Staring with 30% in 1980, the figure for that visiting the festival fluctuated
slightly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in general
remained stable at about 25% over the
next
period.

It could
be noticed
that the proportion of tourists who visited the aquarium oscillated between 1980 and 1995 and reached a peak of approximately 35%, followed by a significant drop to around 8% in the
next
15 years. As regards the zoo, after fluctuating
steadily
in the percentage of visitors from 1980 to 2000, the figure of that rose
sharply
to 20% in 2010.
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IELTS academic The Line Graph Below Shows The Percentage Of Tourists To Scotland Who Visited Four Different Attractions

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
174 words
7.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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