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adults with overweight, double diagram

adults with overweight, double diagram mXAMO
These two graphs give some information around people who struggling with overweight. The bar chart depicts the percentage of excessively overweight adults for 6 decades whereas the pie chart illustrates a number of weights of the grown-up people in one year. It is clear that the society has become fatter and fatter among 50 years period between 1965 to 2015. On the one hand, we can see a slightly growth along 3 decades from 1965 to 1985; But on the other hand, after that the number of pudgy grown-up people increased significantly. The pie diagram refers to wide range of obese adults which depicts approximately a third of them were corpulent, also fat people was in the second place and a dangerous fattish got a tiny proportion. According to the type of overweight’s proportions, healthy and underweight ones had a smaller community, in which we should be concerned about measurements of increasing fattening.
These two graphs give
some
information around
people
who struggling with overweight. The bar chart depicts the percentage of
excessively
overweight adults for 6 decades whereas the pie chart illustrates a number of weights of the grown-up
people
in one year.

It is
clear
that the society has become fatter and fatter among 50 years period
between 1965 to 2015
. On the one hand, we can
see
a
slightly growth
along 3 decades from 1965 to 1985;
But
on the other hand
, after that the number of pudgy grown-up
people
increased
significantly
.

The pie diagram refers to wide range of obese adults which depicts approximately a third of them were corpulent,
also
fat
people
was in the second place and a
dangerous
fattish
got
a tiny proportion. According to the type of overweight’s proportions, healthy and underweight ones had a smaller community, in which we should
be concerned
about measurements of increasing fattening.
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IELTS academic adults with overweight, double diagram

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
153 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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