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he percentage of woman who unemployed

he percentage of woman who unemployed PL1QB
The bar chart demonstrates the percentage of woman who unemployed in four countries of United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014. Generally, the rates of female unemployment in Scotland increased, while that in England, Wales and Northern Ireland decreased. As seen from the chart, the unemployment rates of woman who live in England maked up 6. 8% in 2013. In Scotland, that of woman was 6. 1%, which was 0. 7% less than that of England. The female unemployment rates in Northern Ireland has a lower percentage with 5. 6%, while the lowest rates was 5, 4% in Wales. As opposed to this, the percentage of unemployed women in the UK decreased in 2014. That of unemployed women declined slightly in England and Wale, which is 0, 3% and 0, 4% respectively. Northern Ireland's share of the population falls from 5. 6 percent in 2013 to 4. 6 percent the following year, a 1 percent decline. By comparision, the percentage of unemployed women in 2014 is 6, 7%, which 0, 6% more than that in 2013.
The bar chart demonstrates the
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percentage
of woman who
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unemployed
in four countries
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the United Kingdom".
of United Kingdom
in 2013 and 2014.
Generally
, the
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rates
of female unemployment in Scotland increased, while that in England, Wales and Northern Ireland decreased.

As
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seen
from the chart, the unemployment
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rates
of woman who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in England
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maked
up 6. 8% in 2013. In Scotland, that of woman was 6. 1%, which was 0. 7% less than that of England. The female unemployment
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rates
in Northern Ireland has a lower
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percentage
with 5. 6%, while the lowest
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rates
was 5, 4% in Wales.

As opposed to this, the
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percentage
of
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unemployed
women in the UK decreased in 2014. That of
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unemployed
women declined
slightly
in England and Wale, which is 0, 3% and 0, 4%
respectively
. Northern Ireland's share of the population falls from 5. 6 percent in 2013 to 4. 6 percent the following year, a 1 percent decline. By
Possible spelling mistake found.
comparision
, the
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percentage
of
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unemployed
women in 2014 is 6, 7%, which 0, 6% more than that in 2013.
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IELTS academic he percentage of woman who unemployed

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
175 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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