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aim to learn within your college of choice and your future goals

aim to learn within your college of choice and your future goals 5BRYQ
From my studies in Ritsumeikan APU, I hoped that I could be someone who can bring new changes and impact to the world, especially my home country Indonesia. Being born and raised in Indonesia made me realize how hard it is to live here and wanted to help Indonesia’s economy, since nowadays the main city Jakarta is filled with homeless people that are desperate to get a new job, thus making me more motivated to change how things were and that is why I hope that my studies in Ritsumeikan APU could teach me to create a non-governmental organization and help people in needs.
From my studies in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ritsumeikan
APU, I hoped that I could be someone who can bring new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and impact to the world,
especially
my home country Indonesia.
Being born
and raised in Indonesia made me realize how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
it is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
here and wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
Indonesia’s economy, since nowadays the main city Jakarta
is filled
with homeless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that are desperate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a new job,
thus
making me more motivated to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
how things were and
that is
why I hope that my studies in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ritsumeikan
APU could teach me to create a non-governmental organization and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in needs.
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IELTS academic aim to learn within your college of choice and your future goals

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
104 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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